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02-Jun-2021 - My Story

I was sitting at my desk, staring at my computer screen and I hadn’t slept for a week. I was waiting to hear from my friend who was visiting Sri Lanka who had the most minimal details to go by to trace my birth family. I was waiting for any glimpse of evidence that my mother was still alive, following the tsunami and civil war of 25 years.

The only thing that could keep my mind settled was to sing. I was playing “Angels” by Sarah Mclachlan and suddenly, someone brushed their hand through my hair and it fell in front of my face. I knew in that moment, that it was my father and that he must have passed away.

Three months prior to this, I had emailed the adoption centre which wasn’t an adoption centre anymore, it was a home for “troubled women” facing such things as domestic violence. Sister Immaculate replied, a brief message saying, “I’ll be in touch” but I never heard back from her.

All I had was my mother’s name and age, no address. Even though the centre’s objectives had changed, I said to my friend “I think this is the best place to start, as we don’t have an address…”. When he arrived, the Sisters, straight away said that they remembered me as a baby and they took out this big handwritten book. In there, was the name of every woman that had ever visited the centre. As my friend folded over page after page, he suddenly saw my mother’s name. In fact, it was my mother’s name, my grandmother’s name and an address.

In Sri Lanka, you have the Singhalese, Sri Lankan Tamils and Indian Tamils. My heritage is Indian Tamil. My friend’s cousin had a maid who was Indian Tamil and that evening, my friend asked, just because of her heritage “I don’t suppose you know…” and pointed to my mother’s name. Extraordinarily, her aunty lived and worked on the same tea plantation so she called her. “Aunty, is there a lady with this name..?” – “Yes, she’s about 51 or 52 years old”. Well, that was the age we had for her but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

The next day, they set out to travel from Colombo to Nuwara Eliya, the hill country. The winding, narrow roads seemed unrelenting. They would travel for an hour, ask someone for directions and then they’d tell them they needed to go back the way they came. They felt like they were going in circles, until they bumped into a lorry driver, well, not literally and he was going to the exact same tea plantation so they followed him. There are hundreds of tea plantations in Sri Lanka so this felt like there was a little sprinkling of magic upon the quest.

They arrived at the plantation office and said that they knew of my mother and wondered if she was working that day as they were visiting. The manager said “yes, she should be through the door in about 5 minutes”. Now, I had given my friend a photograph of my mother holding me as a baby. Although many years had passed, I thought perhaps, there may be some resemblance to help him identify her. Suddenly, a woman walked through the door, he looked at the photo and looked at her and thought, that must be her. He walked up to her and asked her name and continued to tell the story of me trying to trace her, only to learn that this lady only shared the same name as my mother – it wasn’t her.

My friend thought, we can’t have come this far, so he quickly got out a piece of paper with my grandmother’s name on it and asked “do you know this lady” and she replied “oh yes” and pointed, “she lives there...”. It was literally the first place on the slum.

They ran up to the door and started knocking and after what seemed like an eternity, probably only a few seconds, my grandmother opened the door and started hugging and kissing them. She didn’t know who they were… or did she? My friend’s cousin’s wife, could speak Tamil so she said “I used to work with your daughter and I’m just visiting and would love to see her”. My grandmother knew what was going on, in fact, she told me later on when I visited her for the first time, that she always knew I would come back. Well, that was another level of faith that I had not experienced at that age or was she an old, wise medicine woman, a healer, a type of shaman who just had that strong, powerful trust and knowing within to not alter from her vision. It turned out, that my mother wasn’t there, she was about 10 minutes from where they started their journey back in Colombo! My grandmother gave her phone number and hugged them goodbye with a knowing glint in her blue eyes.

“Melissa! We found your grandmother, wait, I took a photo, I’ll email it now”. As I sat in front of the computer screen, suddenly my breath got taken away, the most powerful image of beauty I had seen, just pure strength and wisdom staring back at me. I raised my hand up and stroked her beautiful silver hair and touched her cheekbones and found myself lost in her blue eyes. The blue eyes and lined skin that told hundred stories.

grandma

The next day, they called the number and the Boarding House Manager answered the phone “she can’t speak right now as she has chicken pox”. In Sri Lanka, chicken pox is regarded as a serious condition and you have to remain in isolation for 10 days and on the 10th day, have a ritual bath. My friend said “that’s fine, I’ll leave my number but will call back tomorrow”. However, before he could, my mother called him and asked “who is this”. My friend then explained the whole story. My mother immediately said “I want to meet you”. They agreed to meet outside a landmark.

The day before the meetup, my friend was restless and thought, I will just ring her to check if she can come. Thank goodness he did because it turned out that the Boarding House Manager, wouldn’t let her leave until she’d had her ritual bath. If my friend had not called and my mother did not show up, we would have all just thought, it was far too emotional for her and she changed her mind. They agreed to meet the following day at the same landmark.

As they pulled up in the car, my mother jumped in and opened up her wallet, she then took out a photograph and my friend gasped, it was the exact same photograph that I’d given to him.

What followed on from that, was photographs of my mother and learning that I had two little brothers. When I was 6 years old, I used to stare out of my bedroom window and dream of “saving” my family because I had a “knowing” that their lives were probably filled with hardship and I also wanted to “save” the entire community they lived in. I also used to dream of having two little brothers – so that wish came true!

I found myself, with a fixed gaze, looking out of the window as the plane was landing and I could see palm trees. Does this feel like home, I thought to myself. As I got hit in the face with the humid air, it made me aware that I was hours away from meeting my mother for the first time. I was pacing around my friend’s family Sri Lankan home, on my own, whilst he went to collect my mother and bring her to me. I was so nervous, in fact, the nerves were overwhelming. Then suddenly, the door opened, a man – our taxi driver, my friend and then my tiny mother. There were no words, just an instant embrace. With my friend and the taxi driver drinking in the moment. She started smelling my face and hair and we looked down at our feet and saw that we had the exact same size feet – 2.5 – yes tiny!

me and mum

It was late and after her showing me all the photos that she’d kept of me, we went to the twin room to sleep. I sat on my bed and she sat on the bed opposite me and gestured for me to sit on her lap. In my 20’s, I felt slightly uncomfortable doing that, not just because of my age but she was so tiny that I thought I would break her! She then said “you sleep with Amma (mum)” and got under her sheets. I didn’t quite know what to do but got under the sheets with her. She pulled my head to her breasts to lay upon as if I was a child. I felt her wanting to love me. I wasn’t used to it so didn’t know really how to accept it but was grateful of her being so embracing of me. It was very sweet and beautiful in fact.

The next day, I met my youngest brother, Arun. I couldn’t speak to him as he didn’t know any English so we just looked at each other. I couldn’t believe I had a little brother. We set out on the journey to the hill country to see my grandmother and my other little brother, Ashok. By the time we arrived, my hands were palmy, despite the air conditioning. We were sitting in the car, Arun, my mother in the middle and me. My mother, got our hands and put them together and placed them on her knee. We had a seven-hour journey of not letting go of each other’s hands. Just before we got to my grandmother’s house, Ashok, was waiting at another family member’s home. He was very shy and hid behind my mother but couldn’t stop smiling at me. I was so delighted to have now seen my little brothers face-to-face. What an incredible feeling.

We pulled up and there she was waiting, still with that strong, wise expression on her face. I had been suffering with various aliments and felt pretty weak and it was as if she knew – she held out her strong hand and walked barefoot, holding me upright and strong beside her. Her voice had this vibration that already wanted to make me cry, it felt like home. There, I was embraced by my little aunty who cried out loud. There were so many people crammed into this small shack, with a leaking tin roof and rice bags in the spaces where windows should be. I sat down and they were all standing around me staring and suddenly, I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore and started to weep. Arun then quickly comforted me and then I was very quickly taken away by my grandmother. She held my hand and sat me on her bed and started rubbing the bottom of my legs – which I imagine was to “ground” me. Her strong hands. Those hands, that had been picking tea leaves decade after decade.

hands

They all then gathered around and started singing. It took my breath away. We couldn’t speak you see. We didn’t know one another’s language so the only thing we could do was sing. Each person did their own song and then it came to my mother, she stood there in her midnight blue tunic and trousers and started singing in English… “Twinkle, Twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky”. In that moment, she looked so vulnerable and I couldn’t help but embrace her.

rice bags

Ashok was so eager for me to meet all his friends. He did a call across the tea plantation and literally children suddenly appeared and were queuing up to see me. Boys and girls were separated. They all shook my hand and welcomed me.

When the children left, my mother got Ashok to wash my feet with water from a clay pot and then they started to perform a Hindu ritual. My grandmother lit a huge flame from a metal dish and put it around my head and my entire body and then dipped her finger in the white ash and dabbed it on my third eye. Next was my brothers turn and my grandmother made them both kiss my feet.

That night, I felt closer to god than I had ever before. I somehow felt connected to something in-between the nothingness.

What was to follow, was a rude awakening. Suicide. Not only did I learn of how my father committed suicide, by drinking pesticides but I also learnt that this was the “norm” for young people.

I then found myself, back at the airport. This time, I was too emotional to walk. I didn’t want to leave them. Ashok picked me up like a baby and carried me through the entire airport. We then stood either side of a glass panel and I blew kisses at the boys and they grabbed the kisses in the air and firmly put them to their hearts.

Suicide is prevalent among children. They are so determined to pull their parents and siblings out of poverty and they see the only way to do this, is through education. Yet, the education system lets them down. The head teachers are qualified but the majority of teachers are not qualified. Parts of the curriculum are also held back as an incentive to make parents pay for it which they just can’t afford to do. When they inevitably fail their exams, they turn to self-harm and suicide.

There is 1 clinical psychologist to 350,000 tea estate youth. When you combine a lack of education with a lack of mental health provision, this is the result.

tea plantation

UK registered charity Tea Leaf Trust, is trying to change this, through their educational programme which not only provides free English Diploma programmes to youth of the poorest tea estate communities – but they also focus on mental health awareness and provide counselling. During the pandemic, one of their main funders, has had no other option but to stop their support. Not only am I passionate about supporting the mental well-being of the children on the tea plantations but I have a very personal link with this centre, as they very kindly allowed both Ashok and Arun to enrol on their programme.

If you are able to help us towards our goal of £18K, we would be extremely grateful. Please click here YOUR DONATIONS WILL BE DOUBLED UNTIL SUNDAY 6TH JUNE AT MIDNIGHT (UK TIME).

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11-May-2021 - Grief

There seems to be a collective ineptitude around tragedy. People feel ill-equipped if not operating from a well-rehearsed script and apart from saying unhelpful things, this not knowing how to face grief head on, can end up meaning that people completely avoid it altogether, leaving the other person to deal with it on their own. It’s not something to be brushed under the carpet, it’s not something that can be medicated by another saying, “just stay strong!”, “you need to move on”, you’ve got to get over this”, “it’ll get better” “let’s just go and do something that makes us feel better, he wouldn’t have wanted you to be upset”, "just grin and bear it”, “you’ve got to deal with it”, “that’s what life deals us”. etc. We must not use positive focus to move away from ourselves. By burying emotions, the grieving process takes even longer. It’s actually preferable that somebody let’s their life break down completely and then once they move through those emotions, life starts a new cycle. Our ancestors knew that our natural survival and make up was one of a tribal nature. This meant that if one was sick, then someone could look after the other. If someone was grieving, then there were others in a position to support that person as they were not in that same emotional space. The way our society has evolved, is that we no longer have this woven fabric of community support which was part of natural human survival. It therefore, goes completely against the grain, to have a person fall to their knees and collapse in silence and that’s the reason why people who are faced with grief, chose to escape and run from it.

Grief 2

In the 1770s in England, the black armband was first adopted to signify mourning. In the Regency Era, 1795 to 1830, it was a societal expectation that men and male children wore black crepe armbands along with black suits. When Queen Victoria’s husband, Albert died in 1861, to honour him, the royal servants wore black crepe armbands for at least eight years. If we re-adopted this act of mourning and saw people walking around, with their grief exposed in broad daylight, whist shopping for groceries or travelling on the underground, I wonder how our relationship to tragedy would change. Grief needs to be shared, not judged.

When something is lost, it can cause pain – and in its vacancy – resides grief. No one is exempt from loss. We must remember that the dark days are part of the natural order. Transformation is painful.

Grief can appear in every shadow and shade of life. The timeline for grief is unique for the individual and it’s completely normal to feel as if you have regressed in your evolution towards inner peace. The avalanche of pain, if you allow yourself to dip into it, is so consuming that it can be overwhelming. Grief feels fatal. The shock and violent trauma, brings us to a state of powerlessness. Greif is complex and it looks different for different people:

The woman who realises she has been in a cohesively financially controlling relationship, within the infrastructure of a domestically abusive marriage, who is mourning the lost years and comforts her younger self for not seeing what was happening and letting herself go through this pain for so many years. The best friend you had found in a dog, your grandma’s ring you could never find, a place that felt like home that you can never return to, a relationship or connection that was not reciprocated, a friendship that dissolved, grief for old parts of you that have been buried and forgotten which you wish you could express in order to be your true self once again…

The “power” of grief is driven through its purpose of which is to find connection once again. We live in a world of increasing secularism and individualism. A world where traditional religious and philosophical values are increasingly questioned but without anything being offered in their place. The truth of this universe is that of oneness therefore, separation, is not possible. To reverse growing secular, isolationist and individual tendencies – honouring our emotion, comes into play. This is when we allow ourselves to “feel”, to “remember” who we are at our core and surrender to the fact that we live in an interdependent universe, where one, cannot exist without the other. By swimming in the depth of emotion that grief offers, it in fact acts as a rebalancing agent in a diverse and disparate community ever at odds with itself because of its lack of care for itself – because it reminds us that we are not detached or alone, that is simply an illusion that appears real – we are part of and integral to and of this world. We’re integral to the existence of source, as every time we learn and grow in consciousness, it is able to do the same. If we strip back to our true essence, who we are, all we really strive for at our very core, is connection and what’s submerging us in pain, is feeling the lack of it. We can only know connection if we know disconnection so grief, is an opportunity for us to find our connection once again. Without experiencing the opposite, we would not be aware of the other. Without dark, we would not be aware of light. Therefore, we will desire the opposite, when launched into the negative; if you’ve lost someone, you will want a sense of connection once more.

There is no way around grief. It is the great agent that navigates us through the “emotional scale”. We essentially start from a state of powerlessness; the trauma and shock you feel when you learn of or come to terms with, something or someone that you love, has now gone. The opposite of powerlessness is empowerment so now, as we move through the emotional scale of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – we will be seeking a way to bridge the gap between the two polarities of all emotional states. The process of grief will close the gap between the negative and positive emotional vibrational states, such as guilt, rage, revenge, pessimism, insecurity to contentment, belief, hopefulness, love, freedom etc. Therefore grief, is in fact, your closest ally, as it is not giving you any other option than to surrender to and allow yourself to go through each level and dimension of every vibrational state, all in the purpose and pursuit to lead you to become reconnected with yourself, others and the universe as a whole. It’s the toughest love you’ll face but the most profound and powerful. We then come to see the particular experience – dripping with all of its tragedy, pain and trauma – in fact enhanced our life. We will come to the understanding that the lessons experienced, in fact, added something to our life. Whatever the loss was, it will be regarded as a gift instead of a trauma or pain. The value of grief, is that it transforms us, in enabling us to firstly become more in alignment with our true selves and secondly, we have the ability to see and comprehend the fuller picture of reality in a more profound way. You couldn’t have become what you are today and you would not have known all of the lessons learnt as a result of the event. Grief can be one of the best catalysts for our lives. Your responsibility is to remember those lessons and pass on what they have taught you and share how they influenced you, in order to help others.

Intertwined in the evolution of the emotions felt during grief, is forgiveness. Forgiveness however cannot be forced, it’s a process that happens naturally. Forgiveness is reached when we come to a point in our life, where we find approval for what happened.

Grief needs to be heard and this type of openness can be lifesaving. The pain can be so unrelenting. It therefore may feel hard or even impossible to keep a “brave face”, whilst you are simultaneously feeling disconnected from who you are and completely lost. If someone is in the depths of grief and is going through it in silence, feeling trapped in their mind and have retreated away from everything and everyone, with the intention of completely isolating themselves, loss can seem unendurable and intolerable rather than simply painful and can lead to self-destructive behaviours such as clutching to an addiction like alcohol, to temporarily numb the pain and emptiness. They may get trapped in a loop of denial that anything’s wrong. Denial, however, will not lead one out of the cycle of grief. It’s paramount to remember that it’s okay to not be strong; to feel weak and vulnerable is part of the process. They may use a substance to try to prevent themselves from feelings that may arise such as guilt or shame and suffer quietly on their own. Guilt for example, may be felt as “survivors’ guilt”, feeling that they should have died in another’s place – or regretting what they did or said or did not do or say, before it was too late. This process allows one to revaluate life. It’s natural to question things when grieving. If there are regrets, “I should have...”, this time allows us to learn from those regrets. Grief takes up a lot of space in the body and mind and it’s all-consuming nature, if not dealt with in a healthy way, can mean that it overrides every life decision and thought process of an individual, keeping them within a state of powerlessness.

Bestselling author and widower C. S. Lewis said in the opening line of his book, A Grief Observed, “nobody ever told me that grief felt so much like fear”. What are we fearful of? The fear of losing ourselves, in the darkness of our deep anguish and pain. The fear of growing old alone, with no one to share life or love with. The fear that the intense pain and emotions will never cease. When propelled into grief, we can feel damaged, isolated and completely alone and therefore, afraid of everything because we are wading through the sense of disconnection presented before us. Every cigarette smoked, every lover gained only to protect us from ourselves, is our desperate attempt to escape from our own emotion.

When people say the word “acceptance”, it usually means that they will “try” to be okay with something. However, rather than “convincing” ourselves that we’re okay, the healthiest approach to grief, is to find a sense of reconciliation and resolution. It is paramount that we are present with the sheer shock and trauma of someone or something’s absence. We must allow ourselves to submerge into the feeling of the lack of a person or circumstance in our life. This is called “dipping into the void” and the pain feels incurable. That’s why, on grieving, it’s vital that this process is not done alone.

Grief has the power to bring people together and that in and of itself is healing. Everyone that is called into our lives, shares a part of us as they mirror certain aspects of us. Therefore, even if they are not grieving, by allowing them in, you will be gifting them with your vulnerability, as it will be there to teach them deep lessons that are going on in their inner and outer reality. Each of us, experience different emotional vibrational states so being in the presence of someone who is transitioning through some of the hardest, only allows the other person to reflect on their own choices, motives and inner healing.

Regardless of whether you can allow someone to be with you through the pain, sit with and breathe into the intense emotions, do not fear this process or be resistant to it. Open yourself to emotions, be the participant and also the observer. Accept your emotions as they come; you will find that you do not have to let your emotions control you. Notice, accept and do not judge them; let them be there. Remind yourself, that it’s okay to “feel”, that’s part of being human. We don’t have to perform the same day in day out, according to societal values and beliefs. We are energetic form and therefore, our emotions flow through us like waves in the ocean. Sometimes crashing us senseless, then a relentlessness eb and flow to calm and still and back again. It’s okay to feel grief and all the emotions that appear within it. Let the pain wash through your being and allow it to bound in and fester and then dissolve. Notice what’s going on in your body and breathe. Breathe and cry and as you’re detoxing, ensure you drink water. Do not hide your emotions from yourself or others. You don’t even need to react to the emotion. Do no suppress or try to avoid this process in an attempt to escape it. Allow your strong emotions to move through you and listen to them and feel them intensely. You can let yourself feel. Lean into pain and turn over every uncomfortable emotion. Validate each emotion until a sense of resolution with each is reached. When you’re completely with those sensations, then you in fact travel through them and you actually move and shift beyond them. Having emotions, means we have hearts. It’s not, how can I numb, suppress or end this pain instantly. It’s what’s the meaning of this pain, what does it reveal to me, what is it calling me to understand.

If we do not integrate grief and loss into our emotional body, this means that we will be manifesting more and more scenarios in life where we experience this. This is because our emotional body is calling out to us to become whole. It’s a reflection of our mirrored wound. Our external world is a hologram of our internal world. As like attracts like, we will be attracting the same fragmented part of ourselves, again and again until we understand and learn to completely feel and transmute it, in order for it to transition from a negative to a positive. This integration can be quickly achieved through Inner Child Therapy. If negative aspects of us are repeated, we need to go back to when they first occurred. In the case of grief however, this is something that all of us incarnate into this earth with, we are in fact united by it. We essentially lost ourselves in our birth into our physical form. We abandoned ourselves when we separated ourselves from that which we truly are – from source. We are grieving “loss of self”, who we truly are at our core. By manifesting more and more scenarios, we are only being shown that we need to go back to who we are, without any filters, facades and barriers. To be authentic and honest with ourselves. We suffer to the intense extent that the desire within us to be whole again is powerful enough to draw us back to ourselves, re-joining us back to source as source and self are one in the same. Emotion is what leads you back to you, your true essence.

We must make a vow never to abandon ourselves again. We must make a vow, to be completely with ourselves in each and every moment of our lives, without needing ourselves or the way we feel to be different ~ T.S.

Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved and to ourselves.

For more information about Inner Child Therapy, please email: info@niroshini.com

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26-Apr-2021 - Co-dependency – worthiness externalised

Shamans believe that when we transcend through many phases in life, enduring several experiences, our soul gets damaged, resulting in different aliments and disorders. They believe however that all illness, comes from “losing power or giving power away”, to someone or something.

When someone is co-dependent, this is in fact, a form of giving your power away “your centre of power”, as your sense of worthiness has been externalised and placed within others.

Co-dependency blog

If your centre of power is located outside of yourself, this will mean that internally, you will have a dysfunction with your energy system, there will be a weakness in it. A person’s centre of power is located between the second and third chakra. Co-dependency will germinate in the root (tribal chakra), sacral (relationship chakra and also where your power starts as an individual) and solar plexus (where your power as an individual reaches maturation) – the lower, foundational chakras. Co-dependency is born in childhood. These three chakras are affected as they are predominant in childhood. The root chakra is the first to activate in us, group or tribal consciousness. The sacral chakra is individualised consciousness – a very specific type of power is developed in the second chakra – it’s “power in relationships”.

This co-dependent style is common to be a cyclical pattern that can be displayed in all relationship dynamics; with romantic partners, family members, friends and colleagues. This relationship style, creates a sense of purpose found in a compulsive need to care for, save, rescue, assist and help others.

In psychology, the co-dependent is described as someone who sacrifices their own needs, for the needs of others. They deny their own healthy needs. If you are “sacrificing” yourself, this essentially means that you have placed your centre of power – worthiness, validation, sense of approval, self-esteem, your identity and self-image – into someone else, therefore, there is a lack of a sense of “Self” and identity within you. When a person’s centre of power is externalised in someone else, then they are completely dependent on others being in their lives and this manifests in the form of creating a dynamic where the co-dependant can feel as if they are needed and relied upon so they usually take on the role of taking care of or “saving”, rescuing or compulsively needing to “help or assist” others in order to get a sense of self-worth. This is a dysfunctional relationship style where one endeavours to “give themselves up” which is destructive. They create an illusion of “goodness” to themselves and the outside world – “I give myself up for other people”. I say the co-dependent “endeavours” to do this because it’s not possible to give yourself up – you cannot give up your own needs and wants. What happens is, instead of expressing them, the co-dependent will suppress them and live a life that is unfulfilled and inauthentic. This can then manifest as a denial of what one’s true desires are. Essentially a co-dependent holds back emotions, they may suffer from depression (a suppression of emotion) and as a result, end up rejecting and disowning certain aspects of themselves.

To have a healthy relationship of mutual empowerment, it needs to be one of authenticity and this is actualised when in a state of cocreation. Both honour their own needs and desires and fulfil them in a way that is healthy for both in order to create the life that they want with one another, in an interdependent and symbiotic way. Both have their best interests capitalised on, where both people’s needs are met. We live in an interdependent universe. The truth of this universe is that of oneness.

If a co-dependent is yearning for a sense of self-worth and the only way that they can feel this, is within others, it is very usual for them to end up in cyclical relationship patterns that are toxic. If the co-dependent gets into a relationship dynamic that is toxic, for example, with a person that has a high conflict personality style such as narcissism, this is in fact a mirror of the co-dependent. Like attracts like and essentially, the co-dependent, can be described as a covert narcissist. The definition of a narcissist, is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. The co-dependent has the same traits but displayed in a hidden way.

Co-dependent was a term that originated in clinical literature that focused on addiction. The addiction in this scenario is "a person or people", as the co-dependent has an extreme focus outside of them in other people. They need other people in order to feel good about themselves. The co-dependent does not have value towards themselves or value who they are. They require other people in order to feel valuable. As like attracts like, it is common for a co-dependent to attract someone into their lives, with an addiction whereby they can feel as if they have to “save” that person from themselves. However, the motive behind this “help”, is to enable the co-dependent to feel better within themselves so it is therefore not done for unselfish reasons. This co-dependent compulsive addiction, manifests itself in the need to be needed – as by in the helping and in the sacrificing of themselves for others, that’s where they get a spike in their self-worth, as internally, they have none residing inside of them.

By being in a toxic relationship, a co-dependent can display anger and frustration towards themselves as they know that there’s something fundamentally wrong with how their life is being lived. They know that they are not being treated well and they know they are in fact responsible for the issues going on in their lives. They strive to gain their self-esteem and worthiness, through the endurance of an unhealthy relationship. They keep sticking it out, despite the harm it brings to all. They are responsible for keeping other people trapped in that relationship, even though it is hurting both. Essentially, the co-dependent has created a very victimised situation and finds any excuse to stay in it to maintain their sense of identity and self-worth, at the detriment to themselves and the other person.

A co-dependent feels that in order to “feel” powerful within themselves they need to “save” others. However, when a co-dependent is relentlessly giving their power away, this means that they are responsible for draining their own life force so it’s very common for them to become run down, have low energy and have various dis-eases. When your self-worth is externalised, you have no sense of Self and this is why co-dependents have no sense of boundaries, allowing others to treat them however they wish to – not knowing how to impose their limits, being non-assertive and not knowing how to say “no”. Therefore, the co-dependent won’t attain a sense of power in this way as they are literally depleting their centre of power within this unhealthy dynamic and can face a lot of suffering as a consequence. By overextending themselves, by saving one or multiple people, the co-dependent can become completely overwhelmed and suffer from over exhaustion.

A co-dependent will have a fear of abandonment. If a romantic partner for example leaves and the co-dependent is left on their own, then their illusion of self-worth literally "walks out the door" and they feel completely vulnerable as on their own, standing on their own two feet, they do not actually know who they are; they have no sense of Self. High anxieties therefore arise from the very thought of separation in a co-dependent dynamic. Therefore, they trade in their absolute need for closeness and in doing so, simultaneously deny their own personal truth. A co-dependent may be so frightened of being abandoned that they go to extreme measures to keep someone sick so they can never leave so the person remains dependant on them. For example, their partner may misuse substances or have difficult or toxic patterns and behaviours but the co-dependent will minimise those issues by denying them and repeatedly rescuing them in a caregiving capacity or by other means such as money or helping that person to avoid criminal consequences for their behaviour, all in an attempt to “save or rescue” them. In other words, if for example, a substance user’s disorder is healed, that in effect would threaten the co-dependent, in terms of them losing their sense of purpose and identity. They don’t want change. Fear of change is a strong feature in a co-dependent. It’s very typical, for those that possess a fear of abandonment, to go from one toxic relationship to another. They will have a tendency to “overlap” relationships, in order to feel “safe” to transition from one to the other. It can also be common for those with abandonment issues to cheat, as they long for that sense of feeling needed so if they feel any type of insecurity within their “main” relationship, where all of their identity pivots upon, the way they self-medicate, so to speak, from the fear derived from the thought of the “pain of losing someone”, is to cheat in order to temporarily make them feel a sense of safety by having the feeling of being needed.

If your power resides in someone else, then you will be forever trying to control the other person as they hold your power. This control can seep out in trying to also control the environment to contain that sense of self-worth and identity. You will possess a quality of hypervigilance, forever being on edge and chronically monitoring the environment for potential threats. However, people and the environment are in constant evolution so this is a battle that can never be conquered and as a result of this, it’s common for a co-dependent to have low trust in people and the universe as a whole. This results in the co-dependent feeling anxiety and stress.

A co-dependent person can frequently get angry when the person they are “helping” or are trying to save, do not thank them or show appreciation for all that they have done. They feel that they have every right to be angry too without contemplating whether the person in question, actually asked for their help. They may also get angry because they feel taken advantage of but again, like attracts like and essentially, the co-dependent is in fact also taking advantage of the other person by relying on them to feel good about themselves.

The reason why co-dependency forms, is a result of our learnings and experiences in childhood. It’s a by-product of adapting to dysfunctional human relationships.

If a child was neglected, physically or emotionally, then the child starts to feel emotions such as shame. They have a strong sense of feeling abandoned and this forms the understanding within themselves that their own needs are not important to be met because this is what has been shown to them, by a caregiver or parent neglecting them in some way. Our universe is simply made of positive and negative. Neglect would be classified as a “negative”. If the child does not transmute this negative from their energetic system, they will continue to attract that same negative going into adulthood, in different scenarios throughout life – they will essentially be creating and manifesting more situations, where they feel neglected or abandoned but in the case of the co-dependent, they are in fact, neglecting themselves as they are putting their centre of power and their sense of worthiness within someone else. The reason why this repetition happens is because the emotional body needs us to integrate that negative in order to change it to a positive, to become whole again. A shaman would describe this as damaged holes in the soul. To remove this negative and replace it with a positive, this can be quickly and easily achieved through inner child therapy.

In some family dynamics, a child may have taken “emotional responsibility” for the parent, rather than being the “child” by becoming confidants, advisors, caregivers, mentors, mediators etc. Therefore, this externalisation of worth can show up in this circumstance. For example, if a child must care for a parent, then if the parent is sick, they can firmly believe, that they are responsible for that parents change in illness and if their condition worsens, they can feel shame. Therefore, depending on how the parent’s wellbeing fluctuates, this dictates the child’s emotions and their identity begins to be enmeshed within that parents illness. This process of enmeshment is a demonstration of very tangled boundaries and as a child, it is not known what appropriate boundaries are in a child and parent relationship. This pattern, then repeats itself in adulthood. 

A co-dependent, may have friends that can see that they are in a toxic relationship and try to encourage them to leave. The co-dependent however, may use an excuse to stay by saying something along the lines of “I feel completely responsible for their emotions and feelings so I can’t leave, they need me”. If the co-dependent is under no illusion that they need to remove themselves from the relationship, they may say “I want to leave but it’s just too painful, it’s like they are a part of me”. In both of these examples, you can see how the co-dependent has totally externalised their identity and sense of purpose upon someone else.

If you firmly believe that you are “completely” responsible for how someone else feels, this only leads to suffering. It is not the reality and what you’re essentially doing is erasing that person’s capability and this can result in you taking away another person’s feeling of empowerment and freewill by making them dependent upon you. Therefore, it may seem to the co-dependent and the outside world, as a virtuous act but it’s in fact inauthentic.

In childhood, as mentioned above, responsibility may have been placed upon a child by parents or caregivers which was not appropriate for a child. In turn, this can make a child feel abandoned as they know that this should in fact be the responsibility of the parent or caregiver, yet they clearly do not want to take on that responsibility. This sense of abandonment creates a feeling of pain and this then becomes the child’s understanding of what it feels like if someone does not take responsibility for someone else. In adulthood, this can then develop in a hypervigilance of responsibility where the co-dependent feels, it’s their duty to not allow people to feel the pain that they felt as a child. By doing this, for the co-dependent, it can bring about a sense of connection to others. The truth is however, you are not “completely” responsible for how someone feels. Taking on this role, can lead to an immense amount of stress and pressure in attempting to keep someone on an even keel, stable and under control. If you want someone to be completely reliant on you, to make them feel good – so that you too feel good - this is very destructive for both.

Inner child therapy is really the key in addressing co-dependency. Also, it is essential that we address the energetic system, in relation to the foundational chakras, strengthening them and reclaiming and recalling your power back.

If you have identified that you hold the traits of a co-dependent and want to find techniques in which to clear those patterns, empower yourself and transform your life, then at Niroshini, we have many strategies in which to address this.

For more information, please email: info@niroshini.com

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22-Apr-2021 - Dark night of the soul

The endurance of darkness is preparation for great light – 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross

Dark night of the soul is a process in which your soul expands. In order to do this, your current ego goes through a death and rebirth cycle. Therefore, your old ego and psyche which you have formed your personality and identity upon, disintegrates. It’s a process that can be extremely painful and leave you in despair, as everything you once believed, who you thought you were, the structures of your thought patterns, completely die – and the purpose of this, is to get you closer to who you actually are, in your purest form. This process enables us to let go of concepts that block us from who we truly are. We come to the knowing that our past ways, did not serve us – our repetitive patterns built on fear, only kept us looped in our own mental trap, not allowing us to be authentic to who we are and what we want from life. Some refer to it as a spiritual depression. Other’s may say that it’s a journey towards divine unification which germinates in the shadow of our essence, our soul. We grow into the person that we know is true – when all negative beliefs, our identity we put upon ourselves and by others and our ego is peeled away.

dragonfly

The dark night of the soul is a transitional period. We have no other option than to surrender, to give up control and be receptive to what our pain is showing us rather than trying to suppress and resist it. Pain and triggers are gifts. They are beneficial as they enable us to recognise those things that do not serve our highest good, like destructive thought patterns or self-sabotaging beliefs. As it’s a time of transition, this means that we’re in a state of letting go of who we believed we were but not yet emerging into our newest state of spiritual evolution – in-between worlds – the old and new ego. We’re in a place of darkness and what comes next is unknown and this not knowing can bring about a sense of feeling “lower than low”, not being able to function in the usual way such as getting out of bed, disrupted sleep patterns and experiencing the feeling of having no energy. It’s usual for one to not understand or see what the purpose of life is, regarding it as meaningless, not knowing what to do with one’s life and feeling completely disconnected from everything around them – people the universe, source as a whole. You may feel as if you have no idea what you want in life and things you liked before you no longer have any desire for. You don’t know who you are anymore. Everything seems like a struggle and you can feel completely lost and isolated.

Life hasn’t lost its meaning or purpose. The meaning that your “old ego” stamped onto your life is in fact what’s dying. Life only becomes meaningless as a result of the structure of the mind – which is shifting in this process – that built your identity. The process of “ego death” and loss of identity is painful.

We have been indoctrinated to believe that to find happiness, it is obtained outside of us; existing in our external world but the truth is, that our journey towards happiness, needs to start from within. We have to live internally to gain this sense of peace and harmony and to do this, we need to remove the negative and replace it with a positive through mental alchemy, that can be achieved quickly through inner child therapy. Our external world is merely a hologram of what is happening internally. Therefore, to shift your reality, you need to be aligned mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Seeking things that are outside of us for a sense of peace and fulfilment will not erase pain or emptiness. Fulfilment cannot be found through achievement or acquisition.

St. John of the Cross and his mentor, Theresa of Ávila believed that all humans have an inborn longing for completion. You may go through life and reach milestones that you thought would make you happy, like getting a promotion or a fast car, money, status or fame, relationships and romantic love affairs but the emptiness is palpable. This is because in order to achieve wholeness, we need to get to the core of who we are, our soul’s essence and this is achieved by being connected and in union with source, the divine, the unmanifest or god. The divine, is in everything around us, therefore, if we have disconnected from the world, this is why “life” is painful as fundamentally, we cannot exist without it so instead of being resistant to it, we need to find out why we are so distrusting of it. By going to the cause, we can then unravel all the thought patterns and beliefs that have been built upon it. Both John and Theresa, believed that this process of dissolving our ego, requires a transformation that transpires in the darkness of our unconscious to reach the light. "The purest suffering bears and carries in its train the purest understanding" – St. John of the Cross

Although the term “dark night of the soul” has it’s background or rooting in Christianity, it is not a process that is only undergone by followers of that religion. This spiritual manifestation, propelling us towards who we really are, happens for all. Dark night of the soul is described by many as a spiritual depression, existential crisis and state of spiritual detoxification in order to transform and transcend. With people experiencing a spiritual awakening, it’s very common for them to go through the dark night of the soul. A spiritual awakening is essentially an activation or acceleration to higher evolution.

John and Theresa felt, that the dark night of the soul, was the unconscious movement towards the very thing that our soul wants the most – love – as above all else, we have a deep desire to love. This state of love is achieved through union between us and everything else – the unmanifest, god, source, the divine which exists in everything and everyone. Therefore, the pursuit to happiness, in fact is to become whole within ourselves, to truly then be “one” with all and that is when fulfilment occurs.

In this state of darkness, is the best time to identify and clear negative imprints on your psyche, the unconscious wounds that have developed. Once you’ve identified these, you can then change the root cause. When the root of the issue is addressed, all the symptoms fall away. How can you “change” the past from a negative and transmute it to a positive? Time doesn’t exist. You may have heard “spiritual people” say this but this concept is now being supported by scientists. Time is fundamentally an illusion created by our limited perception of our reality. Everything in the “past” or ever will happen in the “future”, is happening simultaneously right “now”. This means that the past and future currently exist in different realities – alternate timelines. When you tap into an alternate timeline through inner child therapy, you have the power to change your whole reality now. This transmutation of negativity is cultivated by mental alchemy which is an important aspect of universal law.

Dark night of the soul, is initiated by your soul, meaning, that it’s a process that it wanted to go through. It is cocreated between your soul and the universe so it’s a soul level decision on how long the process will take but knowing that it is directed by your soul, should give some comfort in understanding that this process is for your highest good and that you are resilient enough to go through it, albeit painful and confusing at times. The best thing to do, is surrender to the process and listen, listen to your soul, listen to your heart, feel the pain, identify where it is coming from and transmute it which can be achieved through both inner child therapy and emotional freedom technique. Surrender to your soul’s will, let go of control in needing to know everything that’s happening and what is going on. Soon the darkness will clear and you will emerge like the dragonfly.

If you’ve been yearning and longing for a different life, another way of doing things, thinking, behaving, feeling – wanting to understand why you’re here and who you are, then that’s why your soul attracted this transitional period to you. It’s a gift. It is clearing the path for you to see and feel where you are meant to be and who you are at the core. Once all the barriers and facades have fallen, that’s when you can manifest the life you desire – because before dark night of the soul, you just weren’t quite ready for it – things needed to change – in order for you to allow things into your life.

If a person is battling with dark night of the soul and it feels like too much, we can facilitate a form of shamanic healing for the mind to accelerate the process of finding closure. We can do this through the safeguarded technique developed by Dolores Cannon, called Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique. This technique is actually designed for past life regression and healing however, we can incorporate this process to take place as a part of the healing in its entirety. This shamanic technique is particularly useful in bringing a person out of trauma or loss.

For more information, please email: info@niroshini.com

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07-Apr-2021 - I deserve, I am worthy, I am enough

I deserve...

I am worthy...

I am enough...

Are any of these phrases hard for you to feel or say... do you have a receiver block?

desert

If someone compliments you or gives you a gift, offers to help you, shows you affection and care - these are forms of love. It’s really helpful to understand how an individual or certain cultures translate their “language of love”, for example, some cultures may associate giving food as a symbol of love.

If someone gives us something, it does not mean we can receive it. Therefore, if we have the inability to receive, this in fact shows us that we cannot receive love. We may really want love, however, it’s really common to really desire something, yet block it at the same time because there’s that little voice inside that believes we don’t deserve love.

Our receiving blocks are usually formed in childhood. This may have been because love that was given to us was only shown based on conditions, such as having to achieve or earn something in order to be loved. This early learning, shaped our understanding that love and receiving are negative. This interpretation, then influences our belief system – we have to earn something in order to deserve something – so therefore, if someone tries to "give", this makes us distrust the motive behind it. If love is given in order to have something in return, this is not love.

In our early years, if we have experienced trauma, pain or anything uncomfortable in our environment, something called “armouring” is developed. Armouring is in essence a shutting down of our energy system in order to shield and defend us from people and the world around us – so we are not open or receptive to others. It can play a role in helping a child use what mechanisms they can to protect themselves emotionally however, as they transition into adulthood, this armouring, can play havoc with relationships with others and the universe as a whole. We start to carry around the belief that people and the universe are not safe.

When a child armours, this is directed through their first chakra known as the root chakra which represents safety, stability and survival. Therefore, when a child does not feel safe, the first chakra activates, creating a defence strategy, hardening it like a shield as a protective mechanism. Therefore, each time this “unsafe” feeling is triggered, this shielding or barrier gets harder and harder. This aspect of our inner protector is initiated by our masculine energy, our yang; on guard, ready to protect, always anticipating danger. This barrier is a block between you and the universe so there is no natural rhythm of energy between you and everything else which is painful as it’s not natural, it’s in fact impossible for us to detach from the universe as it fundamentally is what our existence is based upon. To try to separate ourselves, impacts our ability to manifest, as our external world is a reflection of our inner world. As within so without.

Receiving blocks are usually associated with the heart, for example, when it comes to relationships. Although this is true as we get older as the more we shield and harden, this protective strategy then takes over our entire energy system which includes the heart chakra - the receiver block in fact starts in our first chakra, not the heart chakra. Each chakra is slightly differently approached when is comes to addressing armouring so it’s helpful to know that the first chakra, is where we initially need to focus our healing.

If we have a difficulty in receiving love, this usually indicates a disbelief and mistrust towards a person’s motives. Our armouring that we’ve created stops us from being able to receive. If our experience of love in our early years was not given unconditionally, then we can grow up, not recognising actual love when it’s staring us in the face; we don’t see it and we can’t feel it. The mere thought of being offered something makes one feel vulnerable and for example, can trigger a feeling of us giving our power away to someone, resulting in a sense of alarm and fearfulness. Giving our power away, could be associated with love being given to us where we then were in a position of feeling indebted to that person, through guilt or duty so it felt like entrapment. In this respect, love is given as a form of leverage and what the "receiver” may try to do in return is reciprocate, only to avoid being trapped so that the giver doesn’t have the upper hand. If we were made to feel as if something was wrong with us by our parents or caregivers by being mistreated or having love based on conditions as a child, our ingrained belief is that we can’t be loveable, just as we are because on some level, we feel flawed because why would we have been treated in that way in the first place if we weren’t.

In childhood, when the armouring starts and the child begins to form a separation with themselves and the universe, it’s very painful to experience and upon this disassociation with the universe, a child starts to form a story about this and how they feel and this is when energetic imprints and beliefs are formed. The story could be something along the lines of “I’m a bad person, I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, I can never be abundant, something is wrong with me, I don’t deserve, I feel guilty and shame - which can lead to self hatred and different forms of self abuse, such as forming an addiction or self harm. This energy is feminine in nature, yin. When this negative self talk begins, beliefs start to take shape and energetic imprints form and go into all the chakras, the first chakra initially. These energy imprints influence how your personality, ego and beliefs form as you grow older. This stored energetic information is what we build our personality upon.

People who can’t receive, block any notion of help. They refuse to ask for it and they don’t receive much help, as they are distrusting of the universe and everyone around them so feel that it’s “them against the world” and that in order to do or have something, they have to do it alone. They don’t often see help when it’s being offered but if they do, they will usually instantly seek holes in it, to try to reveal that the intention behind it, is not pure. They feel unworthy of help and in a sense see it as a negative - a way to illustrate that they are not capable of doing it alone.

If we have experienced love and lost it, whether that be through a breakup or a death of a loved one, in order to not experience this pain of loss and to go through the grieving process, some feel it’s more practical to push any form of love away because “love hurts” or “love is not safe” so they protect themselves from potentially feeling that same pain again. If we experience multiple breakups, it may seem that the love was never real and therefore we dismiss the idea of love existing but it did during that period, it wasn’t fake. Essentially, even if on some level we want love, if we feel undeserving of love, we’ll be blocking it at the same time.

At Niroshini, we have various approaches to helping you:

1) Inner child therapy. Going into your past, may seem daunting but you’d be surprised at how simple and fast the techniques are to help support you. This will allow you to visit situations that made you feel unsafe and vulnerable and change them – change their energetic frequency from a negative to a positive. This will teach you mental alchemy and the more you do it, the easier it will become. This process enables you to reparent yourself which is one of the most powerful healing tools you can have.

2) Emotional Freedom Technique. Again this is a fast and easy way for you to learn to alter your thought patterns and empower you to live in a healthy way with yourself, others and the universe. We can address beliefs and imprints through this technique. As talked about, our personality and ego are formed based upon the information ingrained initially in our first chakra and this is exactly where we focus the healing to start with. Unless we address the energy imprints in the chakras, the mindset does not shift, as this is the foundation of where our personality and ego evolve. Neural pathways of the brain are rewired as a result of this therapy.

The universe does love you, creator, god, source loves you.

For more information, please email: info@niroshini.com

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10-Mar-2021 - Why is it happening again?

The universal law of creation, refers to one creating their world inside, internally and then out, externally so it’s imperative that you ensure the inside, your internal world, is of a positive. The law of perpetual transmutation of energy is the most influential law in transforming your existence. This law refers to us having the power within (internally), to integrate and change the conditions in our lives, by mastering how to alter our internal emotional state. The external world is a mirror, a reflection of who we are; a hologram of our internal world. Higher vibrations dissipate and transform lower ones; by understanding the universal laws, we have the ability to change the energy from a negative to a positive which impacts our daily lives so that our existence is pleasurable, content, satisfying and fulfilling.  peace Our universe is made of positive and negative and like attracts like. For example, if someone experienced a circumstance in childhood where they felt abandoned or rejected by a parent or caregiver, this would be classified as a “negative” and if they do not transmute this, they will continue to attract that same negative in different scenarios throughout life – they will essentially be creating and manifesting more situations, where they feel abandonment and rejection. This is created as our emotional body is crying out for us to integrate that negative in order to change it to a positive, to become whole again. If they avoid (a-void) the feelings and thoughts associated with abandonment and rejection (through addiction for example), they will never be able to be fully present with themselves, as this trauma of abandonment and rejection will relentlessly continue to present itself, in order to reintegrate itself.

Being present with yourself, enables you to be fully present with everything around you which allows for growth, development and expansion. If we are always reliving the past or constantly running from our feelings by sprinting into the future, then we are not giving ourselves the capacity to be in the present, in order to fully learn from what our emotions are revealing to us in order to heal.

Our emotional body is the gateway, translator and communicator between our physical selves and our thinking selves. It’s what enables us to experience thought as real as without having feelings, nothing would be recognised as being real, the thought would remain as abstract; it wouldn’t have a physical existence. We interpret life, our experiences, upon how we feel which forms the basis of our conclusions. Emotional trauma, our current emotional state and imprints of the emotional aspects of memories are stored in our emotional body.

In this universe, time does not exist, humans have put a measure upon something that is immeasurable, therefore, everything is in the now. This may sound strange and quite “out there” however even scientists such as, physicist Julian Barbour and quantum gravitational expert, Carlo Rovelli believe that time is not real. If everything is in the now, this means that we have the potential to alter our emotional state - around a trauma or anything that has interfered negatively, impacting our alignment - that in turn changes our here and now.

One such technique in Inner Child Therapy, allows you to revisit childhood trauma and alter your emotional state in relation to it; it enables you to reintegrate the negative and transmute it and to then replace it with a positive. This alteration of memory, actually changes the causation; the effect of that trauma upon you. By doing this, the blueprint of one’s entire reality shifts and transforms as we live in a universe where time doesn’t exist.

If we integrate abandonment and rejection, then the perpetual cycle of it reappearing in our external world will cease. This will make us feel lighter, happier, balanced and at peace. We can be truly present, as this trauma is transmuted – not always in the background, tapping us on the shoulder. That is why it is paramount, that we live internally. Society has programmed us to search for things that are external to us to change our emotional state and our inner world however, the laws of our universe, show us that it’s in fact the opposite. We have the mental alchemy within us, to create our external reality because it is, a hologram of us.

For more information about Inner Child Therapy, please email: info@niroshini.com

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23-Feb-2021 - Addictions

An addiction is defined as the interminable repetition of a behaviour, regardless of long-term negative consequences. Addictions can be very unique and therefore this indicates that the substance or a certain behaviour is not the issue. The short lived perceived gratification, whether it be drugs, smoking cigarettes (which is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome), alcohol, gambling, pornography, sugar or such things as plastic surgery, arguing, shopping, the internet, tattoos, control, cleanliness, being with other people, famous people etc. will never truly satisify as they are in effect, a momentary avoidance (a – void) from the inner self. One is looking to fill that “void” with other means.

Psychologist Dr. Gabor Maté who deals with severe addictions says: “Addiction is not the fundamental problem but the addict’s desperate and doomed attempt to solve a problem – that of unbearable emotional pain, self-loathing and emptiness”. Maté also says that “The source of addictions is not to be found in genes but in the early childhood environment”. fish Inner Child Therapy is one such technique to understand the inner self, to go to the “cause” of the addictive behaviour, to transmute negativity and align with self love. At the core, an addict, is someone that does not love themselves and/or is relentlessly looking to escape from who they are and unresolved trauma. An addiction only gives a brief distraction from the ways things are or perceived. If you are unhappy with the way things are, then Inner Child Therapy, can help you to come back into your self worth, confidence and purpose, to enable you to direct your life in a meaningful, safe and healthy way.

Emotional Freedom Technique is another excellent tool to use, as it enables us to accept the issue (not deny it) and then address the inner pain, emotional emptiness, anxiety etc. that is activating our need for the addictive behaviour in the first place. EFT works by addressing the physiological and psychological symptoms. It addresses the anxiety, fears and deep void the addiction fills. It helps with such things as promoting self-esteem, self love, a feeling of wholeness and belonging. It helps to neurtralise environmental triggers and aggravators, thus removing the motivation to relapse. Trying to restrain from or blame the substance or oneself for the behaviour, will not produce useful results.

For an addict, an addictive substance is in effect viewed as crucial to one’s survival and identity. To go about daily life without it, seems unthinkable. We are irresistibly drawn to it and seemingly feel that we cannot control our impulse towards a substance or have to carry out a certain behaviour. Some may even be in denial that they have an addiction at all. If someone removes an addiction, for example, alcohol, it’s usual that another addiction replaces it.

Using an addiction such as smoking cigarettes, is simply a tool to not face emotions that are difficult and uncomfortable. It is used to help numb inner pain and anxiety in an attempt to, for example, keep our emotions in a controlled state. As mentioned above, smoking is one of the hardest addictions to overcome – surprisingly, even more difficult than many hard drugs. However, by suppressing one’s emotions, by keeping them in a “controlled state”, if we look at Universal Law, where everything on this earth is seen as either a positive or negative, “holding back” from expression, is seen as a negative. According to the Universal Law, “like attracts like”, therefore, if we hold a negative in our inner world, such as suppressed emotions, then we will attract that same negative in our outer world. That is why, undertaking a technique such as Inner Child Therapy, is so fundamental in addressing the negative, transmuting it and replacing it with a positive.

When we observe the hand placement, when smoking, our hand is either in front of our mouth or body which can feel like a barrier and/or protection. Again, it is essential that we understand the need of having this layer of separateness in order to release and heal. At Niroshini, we are thorough and look at all aspects and layers to addictions, therefore providing a truly holistic approach.

At Niroshini, our purpose is always to help you to be empowered and the process of any therapy is guided by you. We are simply here to facilitate your healing process. Care and acceptance, is at the heart of who we are.

For more information on the therapy services described above, that can be carried out via Zoom, please email: info@niroshini.com

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19-Jan-2021 - Has Covid-19 awakened the inner child?

Are you not satisfied with your life or career? Do you find that you make poor choices when it comes to relationships? Do you live impulsively to your detriment? Or as a result of the pandemic, are childhood traumas resurfacing?

child

The inner child is something considered as a valid part of the human psyche by psychology. In spiritual terms, the inner child can be described as the essence of our soul. The intention behind Inner Child Therapy, is to provide people with tools in which to reconnect with their inner child, in order to free them from emotional and mental issues that are not serving their highest good and purpose. The Inner Child Theory is that these fundamentally exist as a result of childhood experiences. By revisiting the childhood experience and forming a healthy relationship with this part of who we are, provides the basis for healing to occur. Essentially, as children we are adapting to survive but in an unhealthy environment, how we adapt, can be the determining factor in how we proceed into the future in an unhealthy way. Ultimately, Inner Child Therapy helps to integrate the adult self with the inner child.

The inner child holds qualities such as innocence, playfulness, wonder, sensitivity, awe, the free expression of feeling and emotions, curiosity, creativity and more... However these traits are not ordinarily valued highly in the Western world. Therefore we are “socially sanctioned by society” by being told to not express this part of ourselves in order to “grow up”; thus abandoning, rejecting, neglecting and denying our true essence – who we are. The inner child also holds the key to childhood fears, anger, trauma etc. We may feel that these feelings experienced were so long ago that they do not deserve attention or we may feel we’ve moved on and those feelings from our childhood selves are in the past. The truth is that by denying our inner child, it in fact then determines every life choice, emotion, behaviour and relationship we entre into. This is because our choices are based upon wounds, hurt and an abandoned inner child.

When disassociated from our inner child, behavioural, relationship and emotional challenges occur. Essentially, if a child experiences trauma such as abandonment, neglect, abuse, tragic events, enmeshment or lack of attention, approval, affirmation or affection for example at the age of 12, then this disassociation can cause our development to stagnate on a psychological level, we age physically - but our psychological growth is stunted as a 12 year old. By disconnecting with our inner child and conforming to societal expectations, we lose our identity. By reconnecting to the inner child, it opens up possibilities and realigns us to our Dharma - Sanskrit word – "your true calling". It is important to recognise that “expectation”, whether that of which you have placed upon yourself or you have towards others, is simply identified as the ego. To release yourself from this notion, results in the elimination of suffering. Therefore, when we understand societal expectations equals the mass ego, then this can help detach us from it - and - start to follow our true authenticity, rather than basing our lives upon goals and ambitions that are not ours.

How many of us, have lived a life of our parents expectations and if we don’t fulfil this, then it is deemed as unacceptable or you are labelled a failure? In Jay Shetty’s book “Think like a Monk”, he said that he grew up in a family where he could become one of three things: a doctor, a lawyer or a failure. Despite his family’s discontent, Jay chose to follow his Dharma and set about to become a Monk. Now married and living in Los Angeles, Jay has become a motivational speaker and shares his teachings through his Monk training to spread love and healing and to help people to find their Dharma. It is about truly listening to our intuition which at various points throughout our life, can almost seem to disappear or we disassociate from it. When we start to look from within to our intuition, our inner child and connect to our “higher self” or our “oversoul” or “Subconscious” to help us understand what we want to aim for and what goals to aspire to achieve, this is when we can realign with our true authentic selves. Some people argue that above shelter and food, to be heard is the most valuable. If we are not heard as children, if our voices are muted, if we are not acknowledged, nurtured and encouraged in what we want to do or become, this is when one can end up living to the tune of someone else’s song. In listening to ourselves, this is when self-actualisation can manifest; our true potential. Connecting with the inner child, is a wonderful way to gain an understanding of your purpose.

Jung’s example of one such child archetype was the “puer aeternus” meaning “eternal child” which can be depicted as Peter Pan or the female version “puella aeterna” as Tinkerbell. This refers to someone that remains as an adolescent psychologically. They may be very dependant upon parents, lead a life that is empty, they may wish for things in the future but do not materialise them. Remember a wish, is simply a reminder that we haven’t put in place actions in order to make that hope or dream happen. What they value may be freedom and not having any constraints or particular commitments. Jung said that it is not to dismiss the eternal child, more so to have a balance between the “senex”, “old man” that is ordered and responsible, in order to mature psychologically. In fact, universally, it is seen as healthy to fluctuate between the adult and child self that has healed from childhood trauma.

If we are told to “get over it”, “don’t cry” etc, this reinforces a coping mechanism within us determined by society in how to act and feel, thus rejecting our inner child, our true self.

We can have negative and false beliefs about ourselves based on how we were communicated with verbally or non-verbally. For example, if a child was abandoned, then they may automatically believe that they are worthless, they are “not good enough”, there’s something wrong with them because they’ve been rejected, they feel unlovable because they believe they are a bad person etc. These beliefs can overspill into how we feel about the world and people around us, for example, the world is not safe and no one can be trusted. This serves as another layer of disconnection as we have severed the tie of our inner child; that wonder, awe and innocence - by us creating a perceived way of protecting ourselves - for example, isolating ourselves from everything and everyone around us – and by doing so, we create a false self, one that is not in alignment with who we truly are at the core, the seed of who we are.

Inner Child Therapy involves exploring what we may have lacked or needed as a child and then to readdress this by actually providing those things for ourselves and in doing so, one is parenting or re-parenting themselves. By understanding negative patterns such as the way we see ourselves, speak to ourselves, see others, see the world around us, always being on self-sabotage mode, the mindset shifts by acknowledging and fully understanding the trauma and in doing so, we can become our own effective and healthy parent, in order to address these issues now. As well as parenting yourself, there are various other methods to help reconnect you with your inner child.

How many of us repeat relationship patterns, for example, being attracted to someone who is "emotionally unavailable". In Inner Child Therapy, we can explore this, by going back to childhood experiences. For example, is it a case of trying to win someone’s approval because this was an expectation put upon us as children to find a way to become seen as acceptable, to be seen in a way that was desirable to the parents or caregivers in order to be loved - and - because this dynamic is familiar, we become almost "addicted" to the “chase” of winning over a love relationship in this same way - to gain approval with the ultimate aim of being accepted as we feel this will provide us a sense of safety and belonging?

Inner Child Therapy identities how present day behaviours are a result of childhood trauma. These could have manifested as workaholism, alcoholism, being aggressive, overachieving, eating disorders, self-harming, obsessive behaviour, trust issues, co-dependence, intimacy dysfunctions etc.

Where suffering is dismissed, this can be as a result of coming from a place of denial; a survival mechanism. The roots can come from that need for acceptance and approval and therefore, the trauma is buried or it could simply stem from someone not believing that what they experienced was “that bad” because they are comparing themselves to someone else. Remember no one’s experience, is qualified to be any more or less important. We all have unique experiences to us. Not addressing where the trauma came from, as in identifying who it came from, can result in people blaming themselves, like they did in childhood which in turn, excuses a parent or caregiver for abusive or neglectful behaviour. FOG – fear, obligation and guilt – parenting practises that are based on these can also mean that the adult self now, is reluctant to identify who the responsibility lays with. Alice Miller said that she saw people resisting the truth about their parents which she believed came from a place of idealising them.

Inner Child Therapy helps to identify where roles were shifted in a family dynamic, for example, the child may have taken “emotional responsibility” for the parent and rather than being the child, in order to appease them, they became confidants, advisors, caregivers etc. By understanding this, it can help your adult self now, to develop healthy preferences (boundaries) with all relationships - family, friends and colleagues etc.

Covid-19 and our inner child

Feelings of being “trapped” – the inner prison, is talked about by Alice Miller in her book “The Drama of the Gifted Child”. In literal terms however, when we look at childhood, we are living in an environment that is controlled by an authoritarian figure and if a child has been in an abusive living situation, then this can feel as if we are trapped not only physically but emotionally by not being permitted to defend or express ourselves and being subjected to a position of powerlessness. During the pandemic, for many, childhood trauma has been triggered by revisiting this feeling of being “trapped” once again. Our whereabouts, who we interact with and what we do are controlled and if not abided by, one has to face an unpleasant consequence.  sunflower

We can strive to be more loving, kind and compassionate with others but how many of us direct this energy towards ourselves? The benefits of inner child therapy can help to develop this. There are so many advantages to this therapy as it can lead to shifts within your life to make healthy choices and nurturing a bond that is healthy towards yourself. By working with Melissa, she can help you to reconnect with your true essence through “inner journeys” (meditation and visualisations), Emotional Freedom Technique, writing, helping you to facilitate a therapy session held by you with your inner child and looking at videos and photos. You will be able to express and explore this part of yourself with the knowledge that you are in a caring and accepting environment. Melissa has 14 years of experience, working as a therapist. Together, you can address emotional difficulties, self-loathing, relationship challenges and trauma – emotional abuse, sexual or physical and neglect. You will explore beliefs in the form of “scripts” – what we tell ourselves, as a result of the information we absorbed as children and carry into adulthood and in doing so replace this script with something that is healthy. Re-writing internal scripts allows one to function effectively. There are many influences on our lives that can be from as early as when we were in the womb. If you want to explore this further, Melissa can facilitate a Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique session. Our senses at a young age absorb information from family, caregivers, religious institutes, teachers and more and therefore, you will have the time and space in the session with Melissa to explore all influences in your life at a young age so that no stone is left unturned in discovering where certain beliefs have derived from. We’ll also explore activities associated with positive memories and look to find ways in which to re-introduce these into your life now, as a means to connect with your true essence and live a fulfilling life of enjoyment.

Each Inner Child Therapy session is tailored to the individual. For more information, please email: info@niroshini.com

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21-Apr-2020 - Surrender

Surrendering to “what is” and letting go of the state of “resistance” is a process that can be particularly challenging...

In these times, it is more important than ever, to not neglect those aspects of your being that require love, compassion and understanding directly from YOU. No one can “do it alone”. Everyone feels a sense of failure at times. We don’t need to keep going regardless, to prove something to ourselves or others. We can allow ourselves to just be. We can give ourselves permission to just be. Those things that no longer serve our highest good will fall by the wayside. We may at times feel lost, completely alone – tears may flow, anger arise, self doubt may become overwhelming... a whole host of emotions could play centre stage, at different and unexpected times – but don’t suppress them – allow them to rise to the surface to be cleansed from your soul.

This is a time of transformation. The process of transformation can be uncomfortable, feel like your world has been turned upside down, that the building blocks you’ve placed together so carefully have been carelessly knocked over and broken and can’t be put back together... but that’s the point... It’s not meant to be how it was. Find comfort and peace in the fact that this is a time of transformation for all and together, we will learn lessons about ourselves, what’s crucial to our existence and the most important things that hold most value to us.

Flowers for mailchimp

Mother Earth

Now we have entered into the spring season, a time of rebirth. To translate this “renewal” on a global level at this present time shows us how Mother Earth is rebooting during our stillness which has allowed us to see what she is capable of – she can heal, if given the chance to. The air is cleaner than ever before – waters are rebalancing, attracting an abundance of life. Our stillness is powerful – our global language of silence is powerful. Watch Mother Earth unfold, blossom and grow.

EFT FOR ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION *SPECIAL OFFER*

If you are suffering with anxiety or depression during this time period, at Niroshini, we are offering a 20% discount on our Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) service (which can be carried out via Skype). We are here for you. If you are self-employed, we are offering the choice to pay in instalments.

EFT is based on energy psychology and clears physical, emotional, mental and spiritual blocks from your energy system. It works by tapping on meridian points coupled with the power of intention. It’s a tool for both adults and children. It can be adapted to any circumstances. EFT is good for health, happiness and even wealth.

What specific things can EFT be used for? Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, is renowned for saying “Try it on everything”. Read some of the things that EFT can help with on the following link: click here

For more information, please email: info@niroshini.com

Follow us on Instagram: click here

Sending Love & Peace

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17-Mar-2020 - Get transported to faraway lands at Niroshini Retreats

Belle Grove Barns AKA “The Dragon House” is where our spring retreat is being held. It has featured on HGTV's “Extraordinary Homes”, Channel 4's “George Clarke's Amazing Spaces” and most recently, Quest's “Salvage Hunters”. A bed (Custom)

The all-women retreats focus on enabling personal empowerment and balanced well-being. With tailor-made treatments and time for each small group of women to bond, a Niroshini Transformative Retreat, offers the chance to develop that deep core within each of us; that intuitive and “knowing” place – a safe and nurturing environment to encourage the sharing of knowledge and personal development.

Eloise fan (Custom)

About Belle Grove

As you approach your luxury getaway, the first thing you’ll see through the trees is a dragon caressing the top of a building which sits snugly beside the 5 star cottages. The papaya coloured house and fairytale tower of this award-winning private home, is where the treatments, group healing sessions and live music will be carried out for five guests.

The exquisite cottages where you’ll stay (also award-winning) are themselves a veritable Aladdin’s Cave, furnished with fascinating pieces that Jo and Nick, the owners of Belle Grove, have personally collected overseas, especially from Africa and Asia. Each space has a distinct quality, jewel-like interiors filled with an abundance of riches. It really does feel as if you’ve found the key to a treasure chest.

You’ll also be able to relax and enjoy the beautiful natural grounds of Belle Grove. In the warmer months, the lush tree-lined surroundings are dotted with vibrant flowers, the two ponds lit with flashes of iridescent blues and greens from dancing dragonflies. Visitors seeking peace and tranquillity are frequent returnees whatever the season. There is a network of country footpaths in the area, should you wish to explore further afield. 

peacock (Custom)

There are various special highlights taking place at this particular retreat which are listed below: International singer, Unnati Dasgupta, will treat guests to her beautiful, soulful and spiritual Indian songs and will also facilitate a group “music mantra chanting” session.

Unnati will be joining guests, for the evening meal, prior to her performance which will provide an opportunity, to ask questions about her fascinating musical career, most recent album and more... (Our other international musician that performs at our seasonal retreats is Alex Wilson).

You will be nourished with exceptional food from our signature spring menu, specially created by In-house Chef, Laura Bridge – private chef to royal households and the stars – which focuses on Ayurvedic principles. (Laura is known as one of Russia’s top celebrity chefs).

Treatments reference ancient traditional spiritual healing practices from Sri Lanka, some Indian philosophies with a little Peruvian and Ecuadorian magic included too! Holistic treatments are offered so you’ll discover glorious ways to indulge yourself on all levels, with your body, mind and spirit reaping the benefits.

table with Sab and Eloise (Custom)

Other highlights include:

• One Niroshini Cosmetic Acupuncture Ritual (non-surgical facelift)

• One crystal healing session combined with a crystal sound bath

• Two energy exercise classes

• Meridian Reset

• Three group healing sessions (which include Reiki drumming, Group Regression and facial acupuncture - purely for health benefits)

• Art workshop inspired by nature (animal communication workshops are offered at other retreats)

• Tree ceremony (uniting and aligning with Mother Earth)

• Luxury gift bag

(Our trees are from the Woodland Trust and are planted during the tree ceremony on the last day of the retreat. Each guest will also be gifted a tree to take home alongside their luxury gift bag).

To secure your place on our spring retreat, 4-7 May 2020, please book by 31st March 2020.

Email: info@niroshini.com

Niroshini News

Our retreat has been aired on the following Radio Stations - you can listen on the links below:

Cambridge 105 Radio

BBC Radio Suffolk

Felixstowe Radio

Radio Radi Asian London

Niroshini Offers

During the month of March 2020, we are giving a 10% discount towards a Reiki treatment.

You can follow us on Instagram

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15-Feb-2020 - Russia's Top Celebrity Chef teams up with Niroshini Retreats

We are pleased to reveal that one of Russia's top celebrity chefs, Laura Bridge - better known as the Ayurvedic Adventuress - will be providing her In-house Chef services at our May retreat. Guests joining us at the magical 5 star, Belle Grove Barns in Suffolk from May 4 to 7, will be able to indulge in a special spring menu based on Ayurvedic principles. Laura uses organic ingredients to produce exciting and energising menus which are always beautifully presented.

Laura Bridge photo

With an impressive career that most would simply dream of, Laura, has accomplished each new challenge in her culinary adventure with a commitment and passion that has translated into success. She has prepared meals for members of the British Royal family, heads of state, foreign dignitaries and Hollywood stars.

Inspired by a passion for new cultures and cuisines, Laura’s voyage of discovery has taken her across the globe, from Europe, Sri Lanka, Peru, Ecuador and beyond.

As well as preparing the meals for the retreat, Laura will be sharing her expertise by giving a talk on Ayurveda lifestyle and diet, sharing her knowledge in this field.

Originally from London, Laura, was former Executive Chef at the Soho Rooms, Moscow – one of the city’s most exclusive and glamorous restaurants and night clubs – where the menu had to cater to the expensive appetites and expectations of Russia’s VIPs. In recent years, the venue has hosted many Michelin starred guest chefs. Laura went on to be named as one of Russia’s top celebrity chefs, an achievement that was covered by the Russian International Television Network and won the annual Moscow Gastronomic competition for four consecutive years. Laura described the energy of Moscow as “electric” and she was constantly on the go, never taking a moment away from the fully-charged environment in which she was immersed.

As the years went by, in the cyclical journey of Laura’s life, she found herself compelled to seek an alternative route and discovered Ayurvedic lifestyle and diet. She spent time learning about these values in New Zealand and became a certified Ayurvedic Chef, after studying at the Hale Pule Ayurveda School. She is now a certified Consultant in Ayurveda Nutrition, Diet & Lifestyle via the Ayurveda Pura Academy, London.

Ayurveda lifestyle and diet talk

During Laura’s talk, you will gain a basic understanding of Ayurveda and how following an Ayurvedic diet will keep you in balance. You will also learn how cooking with spices can improve digestion. You will discover more about your constitution and how you work with it to achieve harmony with your body. You will learn about increasing vitality, reducing toxins and how to enjoy more restful sleep.

To find out more about our upcoming spring retreat, taking place from May 4 to 7, 2020, please email Melissa Day on: info@niroshini.com

To secure your place, please book by March 31, 2020. Follow us on Instagram: @niroshini_retreats

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06-Jan-2020 - Exciting News - Unnati Dasgupta performing at our spring retreat!

Upcoming Retreat Date: 4-7 May 2020 at 5 Star, Belle Grove Barns, Suffolk. To book, please email: info@niroshini.com (To secure your place, book by 31st Mach 2020).

Unnati brings a unique musical experience to her audiences, blending Spirituality with Pop and elements of Indian Classical. To Unnati, music is a seamless sonic journey towards the light. At Niroshini Transformative Retreats, Unnati will be treating guests to her beautiful, soulful and spiritual songs and will also facilitate a group “music mantra chanting” session.

Unnati

Unnati says:

“The chanting session will be for bringing stillness to the mind, protection of your energy, attract abundance and to embody love & light in the expansive ocean of divinity.

It brings you closer to your soul and towards infinity... When one chants a mantra (a repeated spiritual lyric), the vibrations raise one’s consciousness. The healing power of music has the ability to impact the body, becoming medicine for the soul. The practice of kirtan or group singing and chanting or community singing, is beneficial for one’s mental health and this aspect of group singing brings a oneness of union with the divine. Chanting a powerful mantra 108 times, brings divine light internally and externally. This is the reason why mala rosary beads have 108 prayer beads. In a world focused on outer success, the real essence of life is to be found within, from soul consciousness, from the union with divinity”. 

Unnati will have her evening meal with guests so that they can ask her questions about her solo album “Indigo Soul” released in 2019 as well as her fascinating musical career.

Unnati was born into a musical family, she trained and performed with her father, Indian Classical vocalist, Nitai Dasgupta. At the tender age of 4, her first public performance was in front of an audience of 3,000 people at the Bhaktivedanta Mandir in London. Unnati’s single “Baarish Mein – In the Rain” was released on “The Glastonbury Unsigned Artistes” compilation album.

Since, she has performed at prestigious venues internationally, including, The Royal Albert Hall, Pizza Express Soho Jazz Club, Cadogan Hall and the Kala Ghoda Arts Festival in Mumbai.

One key career highlight for Unnati was performing “Raghupati Raaghav” at Westminster Abbey for Sir Richard Attenborough’s Memorial Service.

To hear one of Unnati’s performances, please click here

If you would like to book onto our upcoming retreat, 4-7 May 2020 at 5 Star, Belle Grove Barns, please email: info@niroshini.com

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05-Dec-2019 - A protein from human blood in Botox?

At Niroshini, we sent out a survey to our clients that had previously undergone Botox and asked:

1) Did you know that one of the ingredients in Botox is human albumin – a protein from human blood?

2) Are you aware that using Botox as a preventative means to ageing, prior to visible wrinkles, is not FDA approved?

3) Did you know that Botox injected over a long period of time for fine lines and wrinkles, has been shown to cause facial muscle loss?

4) Did you know that to evaluate the Lethal Dose of each batch, Botox is tested on animals?

100% of our clients that had either experienced Botox as a “one off” treatment or used to have regular treatments were unaware of these facts.

botox image

At Niroshini, we champion natural alternatives to Botox whether that is ethically sourced, active skincare ingredients, sculpting facials like Gua Sha; an ancient Chinese ritual that improves skin elasticity and of course, cosmetic acupuncture.

In the UK, there is a high increase in under 30’s getting Botox. It is said that one million pounds is spent per year on corrective surgery as a result of these injections.

At Niroshini, in the past 5 years, there has been an increase in clients that have suffered adverse effects from Botox wishing to find a natural alternative as a result of their experience. One such client, in her 30’s complained of losing all movement around one eye where the Botox had been injected and this effect did not reverse. Another client had an allergic reaction to Botox and could not speak or swallow properly for a few weeks after the treatment.

In April 2002, the FDA approved Botulinum Toxin-A injections (Botox) to be used for cosmetic use for “existing wrinkles” on three facial areas: frown lines between the eyes, forehead and crow’s feet. (Therefore, it is unable to address concerns such as sagging skin, muscle tone and facial contour). Once injected, it paralyses facial muscles and abates into the system and will need to be carried out approximately every 3 to 4 months. The neurotoxin Botox is a drug made from a toxin produced by the Clostridium bacterium; the same toxin that causes a life-threatening food poisoning called botulism. Botox blocks signals from the nerves to the facial muscles so that they can no longer contract, causing wrinkles to temporarily relax and soften.

Today’s consumers are more conscious about what they apply, consume or put on. There is the ever rapidly increasing vegan movement and of course, Botox is not suitable for those wishing to live a vegan friendly lifestyle as it contains human albumin – a protein from human blood which is the secondary ingredient in Botox along with sodium chloride. To evaluate the Lethal Dose of each batch, Botox is tested on animals.

Botox cannot be administered during pregnancy or breastfeeding. In animal tests, Botox caused rodents to have babies with a low birth weight, be born early, not develop properly or even not survive. The same "may not" happen in human babies, however, the lack of evidence is enough for doctors to advise against using Botox during these periods. (Like many medicines, Botox may pass into breast milk reaching the baby). With Botox having the potential to travel from the injection site to distant parts of the body, we are really only on the cusp of discovering what the long-term implications of the drug may be.

Using Botox as a preventative means to ageing, prior to visible wrinkles, is not FDA approved. It is well documented, that Botox used as a preventative means to ageing, can cause premature ageing, by causing facial muscles and the skin overlying these muscles, to become thin. Additionally to this, Botox injected over a long period of time for fine lines and wrinkles, has been shown to cause facial muscle loss. The result is that wrinkles may become worse. This is caused by nearby muscles, contracting around the site where the Botox has been injected, that try to compensate for the muscle loss and this causes more fine lines and wrinkles to appear. The skin can become thin too. This can cause visibly protruding veins.

Some of the risks of Botox are:

♦ Loss of bladder control ♦ Upset stomach ♦ Trouble breathing ♦ Difficulty speaking or swallowing ♦ Drooling ♦ Vision problems ♦ Flu-like symptoms ♦ Droopy eyelid or cockeyed eyebrows ♦ Crooked smile ♦ Eye dryness or excessive tearing ♦ Muscle weakness all over the body ♦ Hands suffer a loss of cortical brain activity ♦ Inflammatory response in the immune system

At Niroshini, we were recently asked by Hong Kong Tatler to contribute to their feature piece “Should I Quit Botox”. Although this is a booming industry, it’s encouraging to see that such influential glossy mags are helping to spread the word about natural, alternative treatments that can be just as effective or even more so compared to Botox. If you would like further information about our Niroshini Cosmetic Acupuncture Ritual, please email: info@niroshini.com

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11-Nov-2019 - Spring Retreat at Belle Grove (4-7 May 2020)

We are excited to announce our upcoming spring retreat which will be held 4-7 May 2020, at the magical Belle Grove Barns in Suffolk.  bg-generalexterior

As you approach your luxury getaway, the first thing you’ll see through the trees is a dragon caressing the top of a building which sits snugly beside the 5 star cottages. The papaya coloured house and fairytale tower of this award-winning private home, is where the treatments and group healing sessions will be carried out for five guests.

The exquisite cottages where you’ll stay (also award-winning) are themselves a veritable Aladdin’s Cave, furnished with fascinating pieces that Jo and Nick, the owners of Belle Grove, have personally collected overseas, especially from Africa and Asia. Each space has a distinct quality, jewel-like interiors filled with an abundance of riches. It really does feel as if you’ve found the key to a treasure chest.

You’ll also be able to relax and enjoy the beautiful natural grounds of Belle Grove. In the warmer months, the lush tree-lined surroundings are dotted with vibrant flowers, the two ponds lit with flashes of iridescent blues and greens from dancing dragonflies. Visitors seeking peace and tranquillity are frequent returnees whatever the season. There is a network of country footpaths in the area, should you wish to explore further afield.

*Guests with mobility issues, may find Belle Grove's room in the Upper Barn more comfortable. It has a king bed on the ground floor with a walk in shower room.* bellegrove-exterior-hires

At Niroshini Retreats, you will experience indulgent, holistic treatments, Saatvic cuisine based on Ayurvedic principles and live Indian music performed by international musician, Unnati Dasgupta. To listen to one of Unnati’s songs, please click here. To view the full itinerary, please see “highlights” here

To secure your place on our spring retreat (4-7 May 2020), please book by 31st March 2020 by emailing info@niroshini.com (We also have beautiful gift vouchers in their own gold embossed gift box, if you are wishing to treat that someone special). Gift Box

With Love from Melissa & the Niroshini Team x

Follow us on Instagram: niroshini_retreats

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11-Jul-2019 - Alex Wilson, pianist and composer – “It’s not me...”

Alex will be performing at Niroshini Transformative Retreats, 28th – 31st October 2019 at Butley Priory

“I love playing music and seeing it move an audience. It’s not me doing this though - the music is not my own. I am transmitting energy – I am merely a channel of art, music, whatever you believe is above...” On listening to Alex, a picture was painted in my mind – the creation of “the music” was almost tapping into the divine, perhaps at times like automatic writing and then “that creation” in its beauty, shape, form, is communicated in whichever way it is received by the audience and Alex is just in the middle watching it spin around in its glorious magic, dancing off the hearts of audience members...

Alex Wilson

Alex Wilson, pianist and composer

Born in the UK, Alex spent the first year of his life, in the tropical Republic of Sierra Leone, on the South West coast of Africa with his father, an engineer and amateur classical pianist and mother, a race relations and equal opportunities campaigner. Alex’s grandfather, his father’s father, Barthes Wilson, was Minister of Education, implementing the Sierra Leone education system across government schools and universities, prioritising to increase the literacy rate across the country.

Alex's grandfather, Barthes Wilson, Education Minister for Sierra Leone

alex's grandfather

Alex spent his later years in the UK, Austria and Switzerland. His interest in electronics and technology became evident in his early years, spending hours in his bedroom, working out how to use devices. Soon, Alex found his love and passion of music emerge and his attention turned towards Latin Jazz and Salsa arrangements.

Having his heart set on being a creative, Alex chose to turn his back on having career choice – moving up in the career chain and waved goodbye to the security of a 9-5 job. “When you follow art, all the normal luxuries of regular pay go by the wayside – and you quickly become accustomed to low, erratic pay”, Alex explains.

The big dream came one day when Alan Bates walked up to Alex at a festival and signed him to a 3 album deal with Candid; an independent record label specialising in contemporary, modern and mainstream Jazz, Blues, Latin and World Music.

Alex got the wonderful opportunity to record in Cuba and also worked with musicians such as Adalberto Santiago, Courtney Pine and Jocelyn Brown to name a few. Alex went on to receive the high musical industry accolade, “Rising Star Award” at the 2001 BBC Jazz Awards.

There was a turning point in Alex’s career when he decided to have independence from the label and “go out on his own”. A brave move but something he felt was necessary for the next phase in his creative ambitions.

In 2011, Alex was pianist and musical director for guitar duo Rodrigo y Gabriela on their album “Area 52”. It was recorded with C.U.B.A. (a 13 piece Cuban orchestra) and special guest musicians; Anoushka Shankar on sitar and Le Trio Joubran on oud. The project toured the world in 2012 for 5 consecutive weeks.

Alex says, “the appreciation and applause is like an energetic exchange of respect and gratitude. When you work for hours creating, getting lost in the flow or working to a deadline, “the connection” – seeing people being moved – makes that final piece in your journey of sharing what has been channelled through you to be shared, joyful and even more meaningful”.

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Butley Priory, where 6 retreat guests will have exclusive use of the entire building...

Alex has now performed in 62 countries and released 9 solo albums. With his varied and colourful experiences, he has developed recital “Touring Tapestry”, specially created for Niroshini Transformative Retreats (28th – 31st October 2019 at Butley Priory); weaving music from around the world with his touring stories, the ups and downs of the modern musician and the healing power of music… Alex will also be joining guests, for the evening meal, prior to his performance which will provide an opportunity, to ask questions about his world tour, albums and more... “I’m really looking forward to the retreat, it’s giving me a chance to explore music I don’t get to play”, says Alex.

This won’t be the first time Alex has performed in Suffolk – he already has a connection with the county. Having had several residencies at Aldeburgh Music and led courses there as well as working with Aldeburgh Young Musicians at the prestigious, Snape Maltings Concert Hall.

Alex feels that the experience of performing this intimate piece of work “Touring Tapestry” may be quite cathartic; almost a healing experience for him as well as sharing creations which he hopes will have a healing effect on the group of 6 women attending the retreat.

To hear one of Alex’s performances at the Sydney Opera House, please click here

To book your space on this special 3 night, luxury retreat, please email: info@niroshini.com or call: 01473 430026 Follow us on instagram: niroshini_retreats

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07-Jul-2019 - Exciting news – special guest, Alex Wilson to perform at Niroshini Retreats 28th – 31st October

At Niroshini Transformative Retreats, you are invited to experience 3 spiritual, grounding nights, in luxurious surroundings, in Suffolk's beautiful countryside. Our upcoming retreat date is 28th – 31st October at Butley Priory. Set in the heart of Rendlesham's majestic, ancient forest, this particular venue has six guest spaces. For your midweek getaway, you will have the exclusive use of the entire building. At this particular venue, there are price variations dependant on room selected.

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We are thrilled to share that international pianist and composer, Alex Wilson will be performing “Touring Tapestry”, specially created for this retreat. Alex Wilson, who currently lives in Switzerland, has performed music in over sixty countries so he has really LIVED!

During Alex’s recital, he will weave music from around the world with his touring stories, the ups and downs of the modern musician and the healing power of music…

Alex will also be joining guests, for the evening meal, prior to his performance which will provide an opportunity, to ask questions about his world tour, albums and more...

To read a short bio of Alex’s remarkable career to date, please click here and to listen to him perform at the Sydney Opera House, please click here

During your stay, you will be nourished with exceptional food from our signature Niroshini autumn menu, specially created by In-house Chef - Nutritionist Katy Cox which focuses on Ayurvedic principles.

Katy has provided her services at luxury retreat centres, for royal households and rock and roll stars.

Her modern, Saatvic cuisine, works with the “food as medicine” approach, to bring guests delicious nourishment and health protective properties with every bite. Saatvic foods are considered to be highest in prana or “life force energy”, consisting of plant based whole foods, full of vibrancy and rich in enzymes. They are always seasonal and organic. To view our sample autumn menu, please click here

The all-women retreat will focus on enabling personal empowerment and balanced well-being. With tailor-made treatments and time for the group to bond, the retreat offers a chance to focus on developing that deep core within each of us; that intuitive and “knowing” place. ~ A safe and nurturing environment to encourage the sharing of knowledge and personal development.

Niroshini treatments reference ancient traditional spiritual healing practices from Sri Lanka, some Indian philosophies with a little Peruvian and Ecuadorian magic included too! Holistic treatments are offered so you’ll discover glorious ways to indulge yourself on all levels, with your body, mind and spirit reaping the benefits.

Other highlights are:

♦ 1 Niroshini Cosmetic Acupuncture Ritual (non-surgical facelift) & a pre-consultation (our Niroshini Treatment Plan Development)

♦ 1 crystal healing session

♦ 2 Qi Gong classes (cushions, blankets and mats provided)

♦ 3 group healing sessions (which include Reiki drumming, Group Regression and facial acupuncture)

♦ Art workshop inspired by nature

♦ Tree ceremony (uniting and aligning with Mother Earth)

♦ Luxury gift bag

For more information, please email: info@niroshini.com

or call: 01473 430026 (instagram: niroshini_retreats)

We'd love for you to join us!

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01-Jan-2019 - History of Eyebrows

Have you ever finished your makeup, looked in the mirror and thought “I just don’t look right today”. As beautiful as you all are, you may have been right and the reason, may have been your eyebrows playing up.

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Our eyebrows are a functional feature and like most things in our bodies (bar the appendix, does anyone know what the appendix even does?!) they serve a purpose. Hair on the whole, is designed to keep dirt and sweat out of places it shouldn’t be, in this case – the eyes.

Since records began, eyebrows have been a prominent part of many historical cultures. For example, the earliest recording of eyebrow interest was the Ancient Egyptians who believed makeup had supernatural powers (this I still believe could be true!) and were famous for using a carbon and black oxide substance as the very first liquid eyeliner. A key feature of the Ancient Egyptian look was heavily lined eyes; this meant their eyebrows needed to be as prominent to balance the look.

More recently, eyebrows have been constantly changing and evolving in line with fashion. Each decade of the last one hundred years, has seen vastly different designs from pencil thin, to completely unedited – the brow is the most obvious fashion item everyone owns.

The 1920’s star, Clara Bow, famously shaved off her eyebrows and redrew them in the style of the time – a pencil thin line, slightly longer than the natural brow. The 1940’s were a time of natural brows, Vaseline was used to sculpt brows into a high arc and keep them neat, without any removal or colour added.

Moving to the 1950’s, the end of the war and rationing meant that women had disposable income to spend on makeup. Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor all wore their brows thick, defined and highly arched - this look was achieved by filling in the gaps with colour and plucking brows for neatness, much like we do today.

Hippies and disco divided the look in the 1970’s and this divide carried on for the next few decades. In the disco scene, Diana Ross was completely removing her brows, making space for more disco makeup and creating a whole fashion followed by millions over the next 20 years.

On the flip side, hippies went for the natural look; minimal effort and minimal changes meant brows were thick, thin, barely there or very dark. This look continued through the 80’s and 90’s with Madonna carrying on the natural undefined style. The 90’s grunge scene subsequently adopted this easy-going style. Disco brows were also seen throughout the 80’s and 90’s; pencil thin, an obviously drawn on line and usually very flamboyant. This is the brow that many of us will remember and possibly, if you are emulating the latest look of very thick brows, will still be feeling the effects of.

One person can define the current fashion for brows: Cara Delevigne. The top super model of the moment that has big, bushy brows. Cara’s brows have been copied the world over. The launch of her hugely successful career sparked a return to the Audrey Hepburn era of eyebrows. Big and bold yet defined and tidy.

Now, the tattooed eyebrow is booming – however, like fashion, the look of the eyebrow will forever evolve so permanent for some, may be regretted in years to come...

Brows are most certainly a fashion statement and regardless of if you follow the trends, they are right in the middle of your face so you need to look after them - just like skin and nails.

Some simple tips to follow include:

• Don’t over pluck! Over-plucking for consistent periods of time can lead to brow regrowth being sparse and uneven.
• If you are trying to grow out your brows, try rubbing a drop of olive oil into the sparse areas each day to stimulate hair growth
• If you aren’t confident, it’s always better to have brows professionally shaped. DIY is absolutely fine for tidying up but if you need shaping, it’s much trickier and easy to leave your brows uneven.

Niroshini offer complimentary eyebrow shaping and tinting, if you have 10 sessions of Niroshini Cosmetic Acupuncture or as a stand-alone treatment. Using only natural dyes and ancient sugaring techniques, Niroshini can sculpt the brow you want. If you have been thinking of having your brows shaped, why not give it a go?

Email: info@niroshini.com

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01-Dec-2018 - Identity – do you know who you are?

When you think about your identity, what springs to mind? Do you think of your hair, skin and eyes or perhaps your key personality traits? What about your family, friends or facts about yourself? These certainly make up who you are but these items compromise your “outer layer”; your mirror reflection - your human interactivity. However, identity of self goes deeper, touching your spiritual being, your soul, your true inner thoughts and feelings.

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The zodiac is a small but significant band of space that wraps around our earth and is regularly intercepted by constellations that, thousands of years ago, ancient astrologers attributed to certain “signs” which are grouped by four essential elements (Fire, Earth, Air and Water) which when combined, allow life to thrive. The following list gives details of the 12 original signs, plus the 13th zodiac sign Ophiuchus which due to shifts of the earth’s position in relation to the zodiac, has become relevant.

The New Dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

The elements pertaining to the Zodiac are symbolic of the sign they relate to. These elements, along with their corresponding signs, will allow you to find a greater understanding of not only yourself but others around you; their personalities, interests and life choices. Giving time to greater understanding of the human as a whole will encourage a more pure state of interconnectedness which is gained by both human presence and spiritual connection.

Within the phenomenon of interconnectedness, it is important to discuss how mind and body are interconnected within ourselves too. Biology, immune system, digestive system, bloodstream, mental capacity, creativity, emotions and thoughts are all working together in harmony within the body and supporting you as a person, as a whole. This whole being is interconnected with everyone and everything else alive within our world.

Interconnectedness permits us to feel attached to all things within our world and all beings around us. For example, the pure joy we can feel that another’s emotions can influence your own, how your feelings and actions could encourage another in either strength or weakness. Our nature is to connect with people around us and find a strength in numbers. Interconnectedness and spirituality is the intangible side of our identity.

To truly understand our identity we must acknowledge, of course, that we are also surrounded by physical, tangible objects that are both alive and non-living. Everything, you included, came from something, from somewhere.

“…The knowledge that the atoms that compromise life on earth, the atoms that make up the human body are traceable to the crucibles that cooked the light elements into heavy elements in their core. Under extreme pressures and temperatures… they collapsed and exploded”. ~ Neil DeGrasse Tyson

This exploration into where we came from, is a fantastic insight into human identity. To understand and feel that we are part of this universe but also that the universe is also us, is as important as understanding that we are part of an interconnected network.

This provides us with a level of connectivity to our natural world. Within the universe there are two layers; matter and spirit. Without one or the other, there would be no functionality and humans could not interact, integrate or become connected to one another. Spirituality allows us to connect to ourselves, to our surroundings, nature, the world and the universe. This feeling is what encourages and allows us to be interconnected and to truly find our identity in mind, body and spirit.

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01-Oct-2018 - Fasting for Spiritual Enlightenment & Self-Improvement

The practice of fasting dates back over 5,000 years and is observed in different ways by many faiths including Muslims, Jews, Christians, Baha'is and Hindus. Most Religions believe that fasting opens a powerful gateway to God and allows oneself to become spiritually attuned.

The Purpose of Ramadan & Fasting 

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In addition to prayer and refrainment from any selfish desire, fasting is a significant part of Ramadan. During the Holy Month, the purpose is to enter a state of taqwa; a state of constant awareness of God. By adhering to rigorous fast and prayer and refraining from other human urges, Muslims are strengthening their willpower and self-control to ultimately “guard against evil” and bring about self-improvement and increase spiritual awareness in everyday life.

Muslims use time not spent eating and drinking during Ramadan to concentrate on prayer to achieve the state of taqwa and expand upon their spirituality. Outside of Islam, many people use this time to work on self-improvement, to meditate and free the mind or to participate in activities that encourage relaxation.

During and after a fast, people say they feel mentally stronger, more thankful and more in tune with their body and mind than prior; this feeling is often attributed to the ability to exercise and maintain self-control. By increasing the awareness of one’s human needs and denying this, a sense of personal and collective strength and achievement is felt which allows us as humans to feel more connected to ourselves, our peers and our Gods, whilst in a fasting state.

Health Benefits of Fasting

Not only does fasting have a strong link with spiritual and mental well-being, research shows that fasting has a multitude of health and physical benefits also. Some 2,500 years ago, The Father of Western Medicine, Hippocrates, was recommending abstinence from food or drink to aid the body’s natural recovery process from illness and disease. This is still practiced and advised today to improve mental and physical health in Western, Chinese, Alternative and Homeopathic medicine cultures.

Studies show that fasting can have a wide and positive impact on the body in individual areas and as a whole. By allowing the body intermittent periods of rest from digestion, it is able to burn through fat cells more efficiently in this period thus resulting in weight loss.

Fasting has also been shown to improve brain function by boosting the production of a protein that activates brain stem cells to convert into new neurons, triggering a variety of other chemicals which promote neural health also.

The benefits also extend to our outermost layer, our skin. Fasting has been shown to help clear the skin by expelling toxins. With our body not focussing on digesting periodically throughout the day, it is instead able to concentrate its regenerative energies on other systems and is able to clean up toxins and regulate organ function across the body, including our biggest organ of all.

Who Fasts?

Many, many millions of Muslims, of course. Plus, a multitude of other Religions. However, fasting is not only a religious act and can be undertaken by anyone who would like to practice mindfulness, give their body a break to regenerate or indeed for health reasons. Fasting is a difficult challenge (and one that should be undertaken with care) but why not see how the challenge could improve your mental well-being, your spiritual connection and also your skin!

Thank you to Mohammed Hassan for the use of this photograph.

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01-Sep-2018 - The Culture of Skincare

What kind of woman likes to look after her skin? How old is she? What colour is her skin? Does she use products to repair the damage done or also take steps to protect her skin from the elements? 

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The answer: “she” is everyone and anyone, “she” is someone who chooses to look after her skin in any way she feels best for her and “she” could also be “he” as of course, many men also love to look after their skin.

Many of us know that looking after your skin on a daily, weekly and monthly basis is worthwhile but what about preventative measures? An obvious element to protect yourself from is the sun. In this respect, all of us likely use a 30+ SPF on our faces as many foundations, BB creams and tinted moisturisers contain it. It’s worth noting that you should use SPF even when the sun isn’t shining, the rays that cause damage such as fine lines, wrinkles and sunspots still get through the clouds.

Another method to protect the skin is to cover up. Many women who love their skin also wear a veil; be this for cultural, religious or indeed for protection from the elements. In particularly arid regions, the veil is used by women to protect themselves from sandstorms, the wind and the fierce heat of the sun. Also, in many cultures, the veil is used to protect women’s modesty and is a major part of the heritage of the country and peoples.

At Niroshini, we believe that women choose to take care of their appearance and look after themselves simply because it makes them feel good and not necessarily because anyone else can see the effects; this is never truer than for our clients who choose to cover their faces with a veil. We recently posted a blog about Ramadan and used an incredibly beautiful image of a veiled woman; with bright and fresh skin, it is evident to see that she must look after it. The veil itself is a beautiful item regardless for what reason it is worn and the options are endless for women to choose from; plain, patterned, beaded, brightly coloured or even jewelled. Dolce & Gabbana has proven with their very popular new line “Abaya” which includes items such as long dresses and veils, that women who choose to cover their skin are just as included in the world of luxury fashion and beauty as those who wish to wear less.

As a global brand, with a multicultural market, we celebrate all women, all ethnicities and all cultures and include anyone who wishes to look after their skin, their well-being or even just occasionally read our varied blogs! Do you have any beautiful images of women revelling in their own skin and femininity while showing their heritage that you would like to share? If you do, we would just love to see them; it will help us plan another blog to celebrate another culture!

To get in touch, visit: https://niroshini-acupuncture.com/contact-us

Thank you to Azamat Zhanisov for the use of this photograph.

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01-Aug-2018 - The male hormonal cycle

Men, like women, experience hormonal cycles as we all have the same hormones which function the same way. The differences that we see between men and women occur because of the amount, the pattern or the way the hormone interacts with male and female bodies. Albeit not as obvious as the female cycle, there is much evidence from Endocrinologists that hormones play a pivotal role in the day to day and monthly cycles of men, affecting everything from sleep to sex to stress.

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The endocrine system controls the body’s hormones and commands body activity through the hypothalamus and pituitary glands. These glands control by sending out messages to organs like adrenal glands, thyroid, pancreas and for men, testes. The hormones controlled by the Endocrine system in turn control or affect key areas:-

• Cortisol and Epinephrine: stress

Although a little stress is fine, (it would be near impossible to avoid all!) too much stress can keep the level of cortisol raised and your body on high-alert. This consistent elevation affects the metabolic system and tells your body to store fat as an emergency response. To try and balance this out, try to relax, do a little more exercise and drink plenty of water. This may not get rid of the stress-inducing factor but will go some way to encouraging your body to lower the cortisol levels!

• Leptin, CCK, Insulin and Grehlin: weight

The hormone ghrelin tells neurons in your hypothalamus to make you feel hungry and prompt you to eat. Filling the stomach with food, causes it to stretch which then causes your body to release CCK, the hormone for supressing appetite which therefore makes you feel full. At this point, the body begins to metabolise a meal and prompts the release of leptin; a further appetite suppressant.

When you ingest too much sugar the body begins to secrete excess leptin. Although in the correct amount leptin is a suppressant, when disrupted, leptin actually tells the body to send out hunger signals – meaning more is eaten and you put on weight. To combat this, the best thing to do is eat less sugar; try looking at low sugar alternatives or upping the amount of vegetables and low GI fruits you eat instead of carbohydrates. This will encourage weight loss and also benefit your whole body, including your skin!

• Testosterone, LH, FSH: sex

Both men and women have testosterone (and oestrogen), just in different amounts.

One key factor of male hormonal cycles is the frequency. Where women’s are in a monthly cycle, men’s are often erratic; some fluctuate hourly, daily, monthly or even over a period of years. However, there is some regularity with men’s testosterone levels. These tend to rise throughout the night, peak first thing in the morning and level off by lunch time. Interestingly, men’s hormones also cycle throughout the year; studies conducted in the US, France and Australia found that men’s testosterone levels reach their highest in October and are at their lowest in April -with a hefty decline of 22%.

• Thyroxine: energy

The thyroid gland controls your metabolism and your metabolism in turn controls how your body converts calories in to energy. The hypothalamus detects fatigue, this causes the pituitary gland to tell your thyroid to secrete thyroxine. Thyroxine floods through your body, reaching nearly every cell and causes your body temperature to increase along with your heart rate.

We all know how important “having energy” is. There’s a huge array of products, lifestyles and exercises out there that are said to increase energy levels and whilst it’s entirely possible that what you eat, what you do or don’t do and environmental factors can affect energy, there is also the possibility that disruption of your thyroid could be to blame for low energy levels.

If you do suffer with low energy which isn’t medical, one way to combat this is looking after the next hormone, melatonin - the hormone which regulates sleep!

• Melatonin: sleep

Controlled by your pineal gland, melatonin is secreted once the sun goes down and you are in darkness. Melatonin helps you fall asleep and also regulates the circadian rhythm (your body’s personal 24-hour rhythm which tells you when to sleep/wake).

Melatonin production is at its highest in the middle of the night and can be disrupted by low levels of artificial light. For healthy sleep, it is best to have the room in complete darkness and at a relatively low temperature. Many people find that going to sleep at a similar time and sleeping for between seven to nine hours per night allows for the most restful sleep. Good quality sleep will help with energy levels the following day.

The very complicated Endocrine system is designed to support our body’s every day needs whether we are male or female. Just like the rest of your body, your hormones can be looked after by looking after the areas that can be affected. Helpful starting points are eating well, practicing relaxation techniques, exercising regularly, looking after your skin and drinking plenty of water – your hormones will thank you for it!

If you experience stress or lack of sleep, why not try Niroshini's "Facial Acupuncture" (specifically for health benefits). To find out more, visit: https://niroshini-acupuncture.com/treatment-options/

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01-Jun-2018 - The Summer Solstice – a time for appreciating nature and the beauty around us

The Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year, where (depending where in the world you are) we are able to enjoy around 17 hours of daylight and hopefully, vitamin D packed sunshine.

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A day of celebration for many the world over, the Summer Solstice marks the time when the sun’s path changes and our days begin to shorten. The word Solstice is derived from the Latin words sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still) – before reversing direction, Astrologers say the sun appears to “stand still” at the position on the horizon where it seems to rise and set.

The Summer Solstice fell between the planting and harvesting of crops, allowing people who farmed or worked on the land time to relax and revitalise ready for the hard work of harvest and the winter beyond. Due to this rest period and increased free time, June is the traditional month for weddings.

Celebrations surrounding the Solstice have many different themes; religion, fertility and successful harvests being among them. Pagans hold religious rituals on the Solstice with a wide variety of customs. Dancing, singing, prayer and drum playing are amongst the most popular along with the burning of a Yule wreath in a bonfire. Celebration of the Solstice as part of religious practice, is a time for people to attune themselves spiritually with the natural world and all that comes with both the seasons of nature and humanity. Growth, birth, death and life are the rhythms we live with and the ritual of celebration inspires a conscious effort to allow this to resonate more thoroughly.

Linked to the religious rituals is the desire to strengthen the sense of being part of nature and interconnected spiritually with others and the world as a whole. Many feel this is a key reason to participate in the festivities, often referred to as “the turning of the wheel of the year”.

Outside of religion, countless towns and villages host Midsummer festivities, typically held outside where nature can be fully appreciated; flowers and trees are usually used as part of the decoration. People take part in the event to remind themselves of how precious time is and the changing of the season is another marker of time marching on. The celebration is also to encourage community spirit, friendship and an appreciation for our own homes and natural surroundings.

Summer Solstice is celebrated all over the world by many ethnicities and cultures. In Scandinavian countries, bonfires are lit, usually near lakes and by the sea and traditionally, unmarried women create a garland of flowers for their bed to dream of their future husband. A tradition that is still maintained today and is indicative of the fertility perspective of the Summer Solstice and how the natural world is interlinked with our own fertility and encouragement of new life. In China, the Summer Solstice is closely connected with “yin” and “yang” and celebrates the Earth’s “yin” femininity, the opposite being the Winter Solstice and “yang” masculinity.

Stonehenge, Wiltshire is amongst the most famous of locations to celebrate Midsummer and welcome the breaking dawn. Stonehenge aligns to the Solstice, allowing the rising sun to reach the middle of the stones and shine on the central altar only on the Summer Solstice. A prehistoric site long linked to spirituality, peace and nature, Stonehenge plays host each year to around 20,000 people who celebrate in the longest day with quiet meditation or exuberant revelries and dancing.

How will you be celebrating the Summer Solstice? Our Niroshini Tip is if you haven't got any celebration to attend, make sure you connect with nature, even if it's for 10 minutes. Kick off your shoes and walk on the grass or beach. It's so important to connect with what is part of us; by doing this, it allows us to become grounded, aligned and stronger on an emotional, mental, spiritual and physical level.

We wish you love and peace.

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01-Apr-2018 - The importance of looking after your nails

Aside from the occasional or perhaps regular manicure, how often do you think about your nails - either as part of your beauty routine or just how healthy they are?

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Nails are an excellent indicator of our overall health and it's well-known that there are signs, (such as peeling, discolouration or flaking) we should be aware of that can be symptomatic of other issues. However, nails themselves also need looking after to keep them strong yet supple and should be thought of as what they are - an extension of your skin! (Also, the perfect little places to add a splash of colour to any outfit!).

Nails are made from keratin; the same as our hair but due to the accumulation of keratin in the area, are far stronger. The nail itself is dead however the nail bed and cuticle is very much alive and needs the same care as the skin on any other part of your body. Nail beds and cuticles require oxygen and minerals to keep the nail secure and healthy so it’s worth remembering when moisturising your hands to pay special attention to the cuticle and work some mineral-rich oil or cream in to the area.

When one thinks of nails, we mostly think of pretty colours and polishes or the chic French manicure, topping off elegant fingers. To achieve this look, many women are regulars in the nail salon and are offered a range of long-lasting options to keep their nails chip-free and glamourous. Alongside the many harsh cosmetic treatments to come out in recent years, (Vampire facial, anyone?) there has been a boom in the nail salon industry and the accessibility to express gel or acrylic manicures.

Acrylic manicures involve the filing down of the nail surface and a nail shaped tip being glued on, painted, polished and filed to the desired shape. These usually last anywhere up to 3 weeks before in-fills are needed. There are also gel manicures which last approximately two weeks and involve several layers of special polish applied and then hardened between each coat under a UV light.

There is significant evidence that acrylic extensions can be extremely bad for the natural nail and can cause your nails to become very thin, painful and flaky – which is only obvious once you take them off. Although gel nails have less of an impact on the nail surface, leading dermatologists have recently been discussing practices of application which require you to place both hands in a direct UV light for minutes at a time on each visit, increasing the risk of developing skin cancer.

Acrylic and gel nails can also both block oxygen from reaching the nail bed thus starving that part of your skin and causing painful and unhealthy areas around the base of the nail. Some standard application nail polishes can be beneficial due to their hardening and strengthening qualities but other, low quality polishes can stain the nail from being too highly pigmented and can also weaken the nail by blocking oxygen.

So what can you do?

• Make sure you give your nails a break from time to time; take off all polishes and apply a nutrient and mineral-rich cuticle oil and a soothing hand cream. Do this several times whilst the nails are bare.
• If you use a salon, be wary of how they sterilise their equipment – you don’t want to pick up any infections.
• Use good quality nail varnishes to ensure they aren’t too heavy (oxygen-inhibiting) or too pigmented (cause staining).
• Be aware of current practices and warnings.
• Make sure you read up on the risks of treatment before you decide to go ahead.

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01-Feb-2018 - Microneedling - how does it work?

Non-ablative procedure, Micro Needle Therapy (MNT), known as Collagen Induction Therapy in the cosmetic medical industry, is a method to help combat signs of aging, acne scarring and uneven skin on the face and body. The handheld medical roller is a handled tool with a rotating head which has up to 200 micro needles. As each tiny needle penetrates the skin, the body brings in its own healing mechanisms to repair it and this is done by producing new collagen. It is vital that your face is thoroughly cleaned; this procedure needs to be carried out under sterile conditions. It is important to be mindful of hygiene as it is an invasive treatment. A topical anaesthetic cream or gel must be applied before the medical roller is used.

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Non-ablative procedures are where the topmost layer of skin, known as the epidermis, remains intact and is not removed. MNT is a treatment to encourage the production of collagen without removing this outer layer of skin unlike “ablative” treatments such as chemical peels, some laser treatments and microdermabrasion.

Keeping this surface layer intact helps it maintain its role as an essential barrier; preventing dehydration, protecting from ultra violet radiation and stopping the entry of foreign bodies.

Be aware, that in some cases there are side effects and you need to have that discussion with your practitioner before going ahead with the treatment. It is also important to add that there is a shedding of dead skin cells in the downtime following the treatment and it usually takes up to 3 weeks until the appearance of the skin is completely smooth again.

As the procedure is only a collagen induction therapy, it can’t target muscle toning which is required if you want to address sagging skin.

Alternatively, if you wanted to undertake a different facial rejuvenation treatment which can also address sagging skin, why not try our Niroshini Cosmetic Acupuncture Ritual. The Ritual is a completely natural alternative to Botox and cosmetic surgery, addressing multiple health and beauty concerns. Focusing on holistic wellbeing, the treatment combines facial and cosmetic acupuncture along with specialised lymphatic drainage, working together to create “rejuvenation from the inside out”.

THE BENEFITS

The Niroshini Ritual not only focuses on cosmetic concerns but also overall health and wellbeing. The “Niroshini Method” that we’ve developed focuses on musculoskeletal issues as well as regulating the immune system and internal organ function.

The cosmetic acupuncture techniques can help with many skin requirements including sagging skin, fine lines, wrinkles, dry skin and acne. The improvement to facial contour is by using lifting and muscle toning techniques, invigorating Qi (energy) and blood circulation.

To ensure each session is bespoke, a detailed “Niroshini Treatment Plan Development” session is held beforehand to assess health requirements and desired results. The treatment is completely tailored to each individual.

The session also includes the option of a complimentary hand and arm massage for a truly relaxing two hour ritual.

So what are our results like? Here’s some feedback from one of our client’s that has experienced both MNT and the Niroshini Ritual: “I have used dermal rollers for years to combat signs of aging, however, it never achieved the quite simply, dramatic results that the Niroshini Ritual has. I have a clean jaw line, all my deep wrinkles have completely gone and the skin is lifted above my eyes”.

If you would like to find out more, please visit: https://niroshini-acupuncture.com/treatment-options

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01-Jan-2018 - Spot prone skin - what can help?

At Niroshini, we have several simple tips you can try if you suffer with oily or spot prone skin. As with everything we do, we approach the concern in a holistic way. Let’s look at what’s going on inside the body that may be causing the issues, as well as examining what you can do to ensure you keep your skin clean and healthy from the outside and stop the spots spreading.

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First off, there’s one thing that we always ask our clients, whatever their skin issues. It may be obvious but think about how much water you are drinking each day. Is it really enough? If you find your skin is prone to breaking out, try upping your intake of water to 6 – 8 glasses a day. Water flushes out toxins from the body, clears the skin and encourages a healthy glow. We’re a great advocate of water, whatever the concern with a client’s complexion because well hydrated skin appears fuller and more youthful, helping to lessen the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

Secondly, we’d advise taking a look at what you are eating. Is your diet balanced, full of nutrient rich foods and is the main component of each meal fruit and vegetables? Fatty foods and high sugar foods are a key player in causing breakouts – we’ve all heard the old adage of people breaking out from eating too much chocolate; it’s sad but true unfortunately and in fact, all sugary food and drink will have an adverse effect on your skin.

Another preventative measure is oil pulling using coconut oil. Oil pulling is the practice of putting a tablespoon of coconut oil in your mouth on an empty stomach and swishing it around for twenty minutes. This ancient ritual is said to remove toxins from the body; the oil acting like a cleanser in your mouth and removing any nasty bacteria before it is able to enter the bloodstream. The positive effect this can have on your skin, is because effectively, the toxins never make it as far as the skin and therefore aren’t present to cause breakouts. It may sound a bit strange but there’s lots of anecdotal evidence that it works!

Vitamin E is great for your skin because it protects it from environmental damage and is a powerful anti-inflammatory. Inflammatory conditions can cause premature skin aging so that’s definitely something to be avoided. Try to incorporate foods rich in Vitamin E into your diet – foods like almonds, avocados and spinach. Aside from ingesting Vitamin E, you can also buy skincare products containing it, giving you even more benefits from this remarkable nutrient!

The reason spots occur, is due to an imbalance in the body, blocked pores or an over-production of sebum. Keeping your face clean, will help stop bacteria from existing blemishes being spread across your face which will result in more spots.

It’s a vicious circle so we’d advise washing your face twice a day with a gentle cleanser then apply a toner and a light moisturiser. Favourite active ingredients that we can recommend are witch hazel and tea tree. When choosing a moisturiser, try to find one designed for spot prone/oily skin or alternatively one that isn’t too heavy and creamy. Heavy moisturisers are often too much for oily skin and result in more blocked pores and as you can imagine, more spots. On the subject of cleanliness, make sure you keep any makeup tools clean. When you apply makeup using brushes/sponges/blenders these are touching your skin and any blemishes you are trying to cover. The bacterium is then transferred on to the tool and if not kept clean, back on to your face when you next use it. You can buy specific brush cleaner solutions which are often anti-bacterial and well worth the money for keeping brushes in top condition.

We hope you've found these tips useful. If you have any skin concerns, we’d love to help you.

Please email info@niroshini.com – We are at your disposal.

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